How To Get Your Scorpio Man Back After Things Have Ended

Have you had a falling out with your Scorpio guy and now want him back to work things out? He’s temperamental, so it may or may not work, but here are some tips that may help you learn how to get a Scorpio man back into your life.

In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have worked with thousands of women trying to get a Scorpio man back, and I can tell you this: what you are feeling is more common than you think. In my survey of over 3,600 women involved with Scorpio men, “I want him back” or “how do I win him back” came up in 528 different ways, more than almost any other pattern in the data. The connection feels unfinished because for him, it often is. Scorpios are ruled by Pluto, the planet of obsession, endings, and rebirth, which is why 67% of women told us he communicates everything with his eyes even after he has gone quiet.

Before we get into the steps, I want you to know something important. A Scorpio man rarely “gets over” someone he was genuinely in with. He walls off, he performs moving on, he disappears, but the emotional file stays open in him. Your job is not to chase him, convince him, or out-argue him. Your job is to become the woman he cannot stop thinking about from across whatever wall he has built. That is what this entire guide is about. If you want to go deeper into his wiring, my full Scorpio Man Secrets guide walks you through it step by step.

The Truth About Why A Scorpio Man Pulls Away Before He Comes Back

Here is the truth no one tells you when your Scorpio man ends things. He does not ghost because he feels nothing. He ghosts because he feels too much and does not know how to sit with it. Pluto, his ruling planet, is about total emotional transformation, and when a Scorpio man cannot be in the sun of a relationship, he goes underground. He stews. He replays. He punishes himself, and sometimes he punishes you, because the feelings he has for you scare him more than he will ever admit.

In the Scorpio survey, women used words like “intense,” “obsessive,” and “all or nothing” far more often than any other sign group. The “it is complicated” label came up higher here than anywhere else, because his pull-away is rarely a clean no. It is a protective move. He is not deciding you are wrong for him. He is deciding whether he can handle being that open with anyone again.

That is why the old advice of chasing, begging, explaining, and apologizing rarely works on him. It touches the wrong part of his wiring. What works with a Scorpio man is the opposite of what works with a Libra or a Gemini. He is not moved by clever words. He is moved by watching a woman he cared about carry herself with quiet dignity when he expected her to fall apart. That is the frame to hold as you read the rest of this guide.

How To Show A Scorpio Man You Are Thriving Without Him (And Make Him Notice Again)

Above all else, Scorpio men want to see a successful woman. If the two of you ended and you’re trying to get him to pay attention to you again, you’re going to have to become shiny and valuable.

As ambitious as he is himself; he has to see his partner or potential partner striving for excellence. When he doesn’t see it, he’s more inclined to bail out and not look back.

When you’re apart and the break up wasn’t too horrible, he’ll still likely be able to be friends with you. As such, you will probably still talk to him from time to time. Over time you’re going to need to step it up with your career or life path.

Showing him that you don’t need him to become all that you can be will likely turn him on. He’ll want to possibly be back in your life when he realizes that he isn’t needed.

Also if there is a field that you’re involved in that may benefit him; he may suck up to you in order for you to introduce him to people who will help him move on up in his own career pursuit.

Be a dominant, powerful, and successful woman in whatever it is that you do. Elevate your social media status and be all that you can be, it’s a good way to get your Scorpio man back. He may not be able to help himself in reaching out to you.

Why A Scorpio Man Needs To See Strength Before He Lets You Back In

There is a specific reason a Scorpio man needs to see you rebuilding yourself before he will even consider reopening anything with you. Pluto rules power, and Scorpio watches for power. Not loud power. Quiet power. He is watching to see if you collapsed when he walked away, or if you rose.

If he sees you rise, something happens in his Pluto-wired heart that very few women understand. He starts to feel like he may have lost something that was actually bigger than he realized. That is the lever. Not apology, not promises, not proving you still love him, but simply becoming someone he cannot look away from again. In my survey, the women who got their Scorpio ex back were overwhelmingly the ones who turned inward first, did their own work, and let him observe the change from a respectful distance.

This is also why he takes a long, slow look before he comes back. Scorpio does not rush decisions about love. He wants to know the shift in you is real, not performative. He wants to see that you are living your life, not staging it for him. When he is satisfied that the change is real, that is usually when he starts testing the door, not before.

Become The Magnetic Version Of Yourself A Scorpio Man Cannot Stop Studying

Aside from being a super successful woman, you’ll need to make sure you remain positive. Optimism will be more of a turn on to him than being negative. He wants to dream with the right person rather than worry.

Keep an upbeat personality will ensure him to also remain more positive. In fact; you may help him melt away his own worries. Lead by example so that he will feel hopeful about the future.

Scorpio men look for stability and security. When he’s with a partner that complains often or shows too much emotion, it shows him that there is too much drama for his liking. If you want to get your Scorpio man back, don’t be a drama queen.

He wants positive vibes along with the stability of a woman who knows how to control her emotions. In this way, he’s rather like a Gemini man. He can’t handle emotional upheaval.

If you have a hard time holding it together, you can always try to learn techniques to help you center yourself better. Whether or not you’re trying to get him back; this is a useful tool for you and your well being.

Take my free compatibility quiz here and see what the stars reveal about your relationship.

The Secret Back Door Into A Scorpio Man’s Heart Most Women Never Try

There is a back door into a Scorpio man’s heart that almost no one uses, because it feels counter-intuitive when you are hurting and you want him back. The back door is vulnerability, but not the kind you think. Not long messages. Not laying your feelings out on a text thread. Not emotional monologues about how much you miss him.

The kind of vulnerability that reaches a Scorpio man is quiet and adult. It is one short, honest sentence, sent one time, with no expectation attached. Something like, “I have been doing my own thinking since we ended, and I wanted you to know I understand now what I did not see then.” No “please call me.” No “I miss you so much.” No “can we talk.” Just a clean acknowledgement and silence afterward.

Pluto, his ruling planet, respects calm ownership more than almost any other emotional gesture. Over 916 women in my survey told us their Scorpio man “went completely silent” when they flooded him with words. The women whose Scorpios came back described the opposite pattern: one measured message, then living their life. If you want the exact language to use when you send that message, my Scorpio Magic Phrases guide gives you the word-for-word scripts that speak straight to a Pluto-ruled heart without tripping his wall-up response.

The Quickest Way To Rebuild Trust With A Scorpio Man Is To Own Your Role Cleanly

Whether you were completely at fault or only part of the overall issue that caused the break, you need to accept your role in the parting of ways. Apologizing for what happened will make him consider opening back up. Be sincere and you may get your Scorpio man back.

You’ll have to make sure that you dedicate time and energy into trying to work on whatever it was that caused things to end in the first place. If it was emotional; you can apply what I mentioned earlier in the article to manage your emotions.

As long as he knows you’re working on your side of things; he may feel more at ease in giving it another try. He may or may not admit his own fault but as long as agreement and compromise are there; there is hope.

Whatever you do; don’t try the tit for tat method. Getting revenge to get his attention will not go well. You’ll end up more hurt and alone. Scorpio men do tend to want revenge when they feel wronged.

The last thing you want is for him to get back at you by hurting you more. Again, this will have to do with emotional control. Get hold of yourself and be reasonable so that he remains calm.

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Warning: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make Trying To Get A Scorpio Man Back

Before you make another move, I need to flag the 5 biggest mistakes I see women make with a Scorpio man after a breakup. In my survey, these were the patterns women described in the stories where their Scorpio never came back, or came back only to pull away again.

The first mistake is double-texting, triple-texting, and sending long emotional explanations. Scorpio reads a flood of messages as pressure, and pressure triggers his defensive wall. The second is trying to make him jealous on social media by posting with other men or going out of your way to look like you have moved on in an exaggerated way.

He sees through it instantly, because Pluto gives him a kind of emotional X-ray vision, and it confirms to him that he was right to leave.

The third mistake is pulling mutual friends into it. Asking his friends to talk to him, relay messages, or confirm his feelings humiliates him privately, and Scorpio does not forgive public humiliation quickly. The fourth is showing up unannounced, whether physically at his home, at his work, or in his DMs in ways he did not invite. To him, it feels like a boundary violation, and his reflex is to shut the door harder.

The fifth is the one almost nobody warns women about. It is demanding closure. Asking him to “explain why” or “tell me what really happened” usually backfires with a Scorpio man. He is still processing it himself, and he will not explain until he is ready. Every time you push for closure, you reset the clock. The women in my survey who gave him real space, without chasing and without begging for explanations, were the ones most likely to see him circle back within the first 3 to 6 months.

Are You Still Defending The Old Version Of The Relationship Instead Of Offering Him A New One?

If you’re able to establish stable communication with your Scorpio guy, don’t look back. If you bring up the past, you may lose him. He really doesn’t like going backward. So avoiding this might get your Scorpio man back.

Try to focus on positive things you two can talk about or do together. Lifting him up with your own positive energy will stimulate his desire to be proactive in general.

Find some new things that you both enjoy that you can share together. It may be a stepping stone for forging a brand new bond that perhaps didn’t exist. Much like Gemini; he will want to start new rather than start over.

The way he sees it is if you go back to what was; things won’t change for the better. It’s much better to start fresh with new attitudes and goals. Positive energy, meditation, and the ability to see hope will help you both.

Be sensitive to whatever it is that he may be feeling. He doesn’t like to share his emotions much so when he does; recognize what he’s going through and try to be a bit more empathetic.

The more you can relate or at least sympathize; the easier he’ll feel he can communicate with you. Both of you opening up and having meaningful conversations will help you two set romantic goals.

What A Scorpio Man Is Really Watching For When He Is Deciding Whether To Let You Back In

By the time a Scorpio man is quietly considering letting you back in, he is in watching mode. He is not debating pros and cons the way another sign might. He is observing. He wants to see specific things before he softens, and almost all of them are about how you carry yourself when you think he is not looking.

He watches how you speak about him when he is not in the room. Word gets back to a Scorpio man, it always does. If you are composed and kind about what happened, something in him loosens. If you are still trashing him to mutual friends, he will stay gone. He also watches whether you are calm or reactive on social media. A woman who posts bitter subtext or vague shade about him signals that she is still inside the storm, and he will not walk back into a storm.

Most of all, he watches whether you are actually building a life or just waiting for him. Scorpio men are very attracted to women who are visibly in motion. Not performatively happy. Genuinely engaged with their own work, friendships, health, and direction.

In the Scorpio survey, 67% of women said eye contact was where they first felt him come back in, but the prerequisite was always the same: he had to see her standing taller than when he left. If you want to understand how a Scorpio man re-assesses you over time, this guide on why he goes hot and cold explains the same Pluto wiring from a different angle.

How To Get Your Scorpio Man Back: Your Most Asked Questions Answered

How long does it take to get a Scorpio man back after a breakup?

There is no single timeline, but in my practice and in my survey of over 3,600 women, the most common window for a Scorpio man to circle back is somewhere between 3 weeks and 3 months. He needs time to process, time to feel the absence, and time to test that his decision was right. Pushing him inside that window usually resets it.

The women who saw their Scorpio circle back faster were the ones who went truly quiet after the breakup. Not cold, not bitter, just unavailable and focused on their own life. That silence is the single strongest emotional signal a Scorpio man responds to, because his Pluto wiring interprets silence as strength, not as weakness or rejection.

If you are past 6 months with no contact in either direction, it does not mean he is gone. Scorpio men often reach out after a year or more. The emotional file almost never fully closes. But the best thing you can do in that window is build the life you would want whether or not he ever reappears. If he comes back, you meet him as a stronger woman. If he does not, you have not wasted those months waiting.

Will a Scorpio man come back if he dumped me?

Yes, more often than almost any other sign, a Scorpio man who dumped you will circle back at some point. This pattern showed up in my survey so consistently that “he keeps coming back” was one of the top distinguishing Scorpio storylines. He leaves, he processes, he tests the silence, and then he tests the door. What you do when he tests the door is what determines whether this is the time he actually comes back, or just another loop.

When he does reappear, it usually looks casual. A like on an old photo. A random text about something harmless. A “hey, I was thinking about you” with no further context. Do not read this as a full commitment yet. Read it as him opening a tiny window to see how you respond. Respond warmly but without grabbing. Short, grounded, kind, not needy. You are showing him you are reachable without being available for his loop.

Whether he stays this time depends on whether the original thing that broke you is actually resolved in him. If it is unresolved, he will open and close the door again. If you have done your own work, you will be able to tell the difference within a few weeks of him reappearing, and you will be able to decide if this version of him is someone you actually want to walk back toward.

What should I do if my Scorpio man is ignoring me after the breakup?

Let him. I know that is hard to hear, but with a Scorpio man, ignoring you after a breakup is almost never personal in the way it feels. It is self-regulation. He is managing the intensity of his own feelings by cutting off input. If you flood him with messages, calls, or emotional appeals in that window, you will not break through. You will only confirm to him that he needs the wall.

The move that actually reaches him is the opposite. Stop trying to contact him for a defined period, at least 30 days. Do not check his social media. Do not ask mutual friends for updates. In the Scorpio survey, 244 women told us their Scorpio man “would not open up” during and right after a breakup. The women who stepped back completely during that phase were the ones who saw him break his own silence, usually within a month or two, with a small gesture.

When he does finally reach out, respond once, warmly, without bringing up the breakup. Do not try to pull the conversation back to what happened. Let him pace the re-approach. Scorpio men re-enter slowly, and if you rush him, he will retreat again.

Does the no contact rule really work on a Scorpio man?

Yes, but not for the reason most “no contact” advice on the internet suggests. For a Scorpio man, no contact works because it does two things at once. It gives his Pluto-ruled mind the silence he uses to process, and it removes the pressure that was making him defensive. The silence does the emotional work you could never have done by arguing your case.

Done right, no contact with a Scorpio man is not a punishment or a strategy. It is you actually focusing on your life while he sits with the absence. Scorpio men are hyper-aware of absence. The bigger the connection was, the more your absence will echo in his quieter moments, and Pluto makes those quieter moments very loud for him.

Done wrong, no contact becomes a performance. You are not really offline, you are checking his social media every hour, texting friends for updates, and waiting for his response with your whole nervous system. He can feel that pressure even from a distance. Real no contact means you genuinely redirect your attention to your own life for at least 30 to 60 days. That is the version that actually works on a Scorpio man.

How do I know if my Scorpio man still has feelings for me?

A Scorpio man who still has feelings for you will give himself away in small, specific ways, even while he is telling himself he is over it. Watch his eyes first. In my survey, 67% of women said a Scorpio man’s eye contact was the single most revealing thing about his feelings, far more than his words. If he sees you in person and still holds your gaze a moment too long, or cannot stop glancing, he is not over it.

The next signal is how he handles information about you. A Scorpio man who is genuinely done tends to become genuinely indifferent. A Scorpio man who is not done will know details about your life that he technically should not know. He watches from a distance. Mutual friends accidentally mention he has asked about you. He shows up in adjacent spaces you happen to be in. That is not a coincidence with Scorpio.

The quieter he has been, the bigger the tell is when he does make contact. A Scorpio man who is indifferent does not text out of the blue. A Scorpio man who is still in his feelings reaches out in random, low-stakes ways that let him test the door without admitting anything. If that is happening, the emotional file is still open on his side.

Is there a point when a Scorpio man is truly done and will not come back?

Yes, but it takes a lot to get him there. The pattern I see most often is not “he never comes back,” it is “he comes back and you have to decide whether to accept him.” That said, there are a few situations where a Scorpio man closes the door for good.

The first is a deep betrayal of loyalty, especially infidelity. Scorpio builds his whole emotional structure around trust, and once trust is fully broken, Pluto can turn that wound into a permanent wall. The second is sustained public humiliation. If he felt mocked, exposed, or belittled in front of people he respects, he will cut cleanly, and he will not announce it. The third is long, sustained chasing after he has asked for space. The more you pushed, the more he will associate your energy with pressure, and that emotional association can calcify.

If none of those have happened, he is almost certainly not truly done, no matter what he said in the heat of the moment. Give him the silence he needs, work on your own life, and let him come to his own conclusion in his own time. If he is meant to come back, he will.

Your Turn: Tell Me What Is Happening With Your Scorpio Man

Every Scorpio story is different, and I genuinely want to hear yours. Tell me in the comments what happened between you two, how long it has been, and where you feel he is right now. I read every single comment, and your story may help another woman who is reading this with the exact same question.

If you want the deeper work right now, start with my full Scorpio Man Secrets guide to understand the Pluto wiring underneath everything he does, and for the exact word-for-word scripts to reopen a closed door, my Scorpio Magic Phrases will meet you where you are.

If Your Scorpio Man Starts Responding Again, Keep It Nice And Easy (Here Is Exactly How)

If you two haven’t been speaking much; it may be best to cut back on the texting or messaging via social media. Take it slow and send simple messages that don’t feel heavy.

Saying things like “hey you! Hope you’re doing well. “Thinking of you” is plenty. You’ll find out real quick if he’s up for it or if he doesn’t want more. He’ll reply to you if he still cares.

Scorpio men are stubborn creatures, but I do have a few tools to help you understand him better, here.

When he continues to ice you out; he may be over you or ready to move on. Just be careful what you say to him and don’t pressure him. If you do this, you will get your Scorpio man back.

How do you get your Scorpio man back?

Your friend and relationship astrologer,

Anna Kovach