7 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Doesn’t Want A Relationship

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
Are you wondering why a Scorpio man won't commit? Here are the seven reasons why a Scorpio man doesn't want a relationship...

A Scorpio man doesn’t want a relationship is something that can definitely happen, even though these guys are actually quite commitment orientated. However, sometimes their past will get in the way and make things difficult for them with women.

Scorpio commitment issues can definitely arise when you start seeing a Scorpio man. He really likes attention and adoration, so it may be difficult for him to settle on being with just one woman.

Perhaps your Scorpio man doesn’t want a relationship, but at the same time, you may wonder why he won’t let you go. Completely opposite, but Socprio men are slow to commit.

A Scorpio man not ready for a relationship may be caused by a variety of reasons, and usually, these reasons have nothing to do with you. Just because a Scorpio man doesn’t want a relationship doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.

If you are interested in learning more about Scorpio men and why they sometimes struggle to commit, then you have definitely come to the right place.

Keep reading to find out the reasons why a Scorpio man may not be ready for a relationship and what you can do to get him to commit!

Do Scorpios Have Commitment Issues?

Scorpios are from the fixed sign family, which means that they actually really like commitment and stability in their lives. A Scorpio man looks for security in a relationship. He likes commitment, but this requires patience.

At first, he may not look like he is into you and may seem uninterested in dating you, but this is because he is cautious and has not yet established control.

Scorpio men are very confident in themselves, and because of that, they tend to put themselves first. Some may call it egotistical, but they don’t see it that way. They just feel that they’re important.

Scorpio men can feel betrayed. They are all-or-nothing creatures living in extremes. In relationships, once a Scorpio man has decided to make you his object of affection, he may not easily commit, but he will get there.

Don’t be personally affected. He just needs a lot of time and reassurance that he can trust you.

You may also want to read: Signs A Scorpio Man Is Fighting His Feelings For You

4 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Doesn’t Want A Relationship

If you’re dating a Scorpio man and he seems to be comfortable with you, thus not moving forward, a Scorpio man may just not be ready to commit. This can be due to past hurts, current projects, or just that his heart isn’t in it.

There are many variables that can cause a Scorpio man doesn’t want a relationship:

1. He May Be Too Ambitious

Scorpio men are notorious for having some high set goals they intend to see through. If a relationship is perceived as being in the way, he may back out in order to achieve success.

Some Scorpio men can become so driven that they become workaholics. This can effectively snuff out a relationship if you are not careful. Such scenarios can make his partner insecure or jealous.

If she shows him that she’s feeling these things, he will likely feel distressed and want to end the relationship. His goals are always very important to him, and if his partner cannot understand this, he’ll move on.

In the event that you’re dating a Scorpio man, you’re going to have to either be ambitious enough to cancel each other out or you’ll have to be sympathetic to his situation.

Maintaining love with the hard-working Scorpio can be a challenge, but if you stick it out, there can be a victory at the end of the tunnel.

2. Life Problems

Sometimes the Scorpio man is going through some very personal problems as and such, he doesn’t feel he’s ready for a relationship. He has to feel secure in order to want to commit.

This truly is one of those cases where he’d say “It’s me, not you”, and mean it. If he feels overwhelmed in any way, a relationship will be the last thing he wants to deal with.

This could be a result of his career not going well, finances not going well, or a variety of other issues that feel like a heavy load. If he is carrying a heavy load, he will not be willing to concentrate on love.

Scorpio men stress themselves out and become very emotional. This is why they stay alone for long periods of time. They try to cope with who they are and what needs to be fixed before they share their lives with someone.

3. He Is Not Happy With You

A Scorpio man pulling away can happen if he isn’t feeling as though he’s completely fulfilled in the relationship he has with you. This is what happens when a Scorpio man doesn’t want to be exclusive with you.

It could be that he isn’t totally convinced one way or the other. It could also be that maybe not enough time has elapsed for him to really know what he wants or if it’s you that he wants.

He may want to weigh his options and make sure he’s not missing out on some other opportunity. It could be that he’s attracted to you in one way but not fitting with another.

He is finicky but knows what he wants and if he just isn’t feeling that chemistry or connection he wants, he may pull back and will be resistant to commitment with you. He’s looking for a very special spark.

4. There’s Not Enough Passion For Him

As you may already know, Scorpio is a sign that is known for its powerful sexuality! If he feels that things are just not hot enough between the two of you, a Scorpio man may become distant until he’s ready to tell you that he’s no longer interested in a relationship.

Because the truth is that he’s not going to want to be with you unless your sexual connection is through the roof, and that may not even be your fault.

Some women can’t keep up with a Scorpio man, and that’s completely okay! But if you can spice it up and you want to, well, that may have him having second thoughts!

RelatedScorpio Man In Bed — Your Unrivaled Guide To Scorpio Man Sexuality

3 More Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Doesn’t Want To Commit

5. He’s Finding It Hard To Let Go Of Someone Else

It’s never nice to hear that you’re standing in the shadow of someone else’s memory. After all, you want to be number one, right?

The truth is, we all live in someone else’s shadow to some degree or another, and if there has been someone in his life recently, he may still be in mourning over them. He might even still be trying to work things out and not telling you—the worst-case scenario, of course.

If your Scorpio man doesn’t want to commit but you have a great connection in every other way, perhaps have a conversation with him and ask if there is anyone else in the picture. This man, above all, understands the emotion of jealousy, and he’s unlikely to be dishonest with you.

6. He Wants To Take His Time To Get To Know You First

Being a fixed sign, Scorpio men are slow to commit. They really like to take their sweet time in any new relationship.

How long has it been since you got together? If it’s just a few months, slow down. He’s not going to commit fully until you’ve got at least six months or more behind you!

You see, because of his trust issues and his deep vulnerability, a Scorpio man wants to be sure that you really are someone that he can see in his life for a long, long time.

When a Scorpio man does commit, it’s often for life. This is an all-or-nothing sign, so with him, it’s black or white!

7. He’s Playing Games With You

Sometimes, a Scorpio man is just playing games with you, as much as it hurts to hear it! Scorpio men do tend to do that, as they are the types that can lay cat and mouse to see if you are really interested in him. 

These power games can do a few things for him: first, it’s a kind of test, and if you “pass,” by becoming more vulnerable to him, he’s going to gel safe enough to be close to you, too, and to commit.

It’s not the greatest way to establish trust, of course, so you always shave the choice to back out and run, letting him know in no uncertain terms that you’re not up for this game-playing. Or, you can play along and be open-handed with your feelings. 

Whatever you do, trust that an evolved Scorpio is just the guy you want to commit to, and that it takes time, patience, effort, and trust. When he does come around, he is the loveliest and most ardent partner you’ll ever have!

Read alsoUndeniable Signs A Scorpio Man Is Testing You

Does Giving A Scorpio Man An Ultimatum Work?

The Scorpio man is one of the Zodiac signs that does not like to be told what to do. If you give him an ultimatum or try to force his hand into a commitment, he will absolutely become cold or withdraw from you.

So, commitment is off the table if you’re thinking about giving a Scorpio man an ultimatum or trying to push him toward it.

He has to feel it’s his idea, or that he is in control of what is happening in his life. The best thing to do is to allow him to figure out the timeframe of what he wants and let him lead. If you do not, it may result in a Scorpio man becoming cold.

If a Scorpio man doesn’t want a relationship and you keep insinuating being exclusive, he will find this annoying and will definitely keep you from attaining your victory with him in a relationship.

It may be best to let the Scorpio man come to you when he is fully ready. Try to show him that you don’t need him; you just want him. Make him your 50/50 partner rather than trying to lean on him or push him to do things he doesn’t want.

Show him how wonderful and caring you are. Be passionate in life, but be sure to keep him reassured that you’re confident and will stay with him through the good times and the bad.

I totally get how hard it is to figure out what is going on in this sexy man’s head at any given time. However, if you work with him, you may win the day. Giving a Scorpio man an ultimatum is effective only if he believes he has a lot to lose.

FAQs On Scorpio Man Commitment Issues

Are you struggling to figure out how to handle a Scorpio man commitment issues? Well, luckily for you I have compiled a list of questions that might come up in your relationship.

Are Scorpios Afraid Of Commitment?

Although he longs for intimacy, a Scorpio man has sudden reactions to the events in his life and is afraid to commit (on a subconscious level), thinking that he may lose his independence and authenticity.

Scorpio men crave exciting romances with enough personal freedom. Once he truly finds someone to be with, he will be ready to commit, although this may take a while.

How Do You Deal With A Scorpio Trust Issue?

Here’s the deal: almost all Scorpios have major trust issues. The emphasis is on the word “major.” He’s likely had experiences where he was betrayed, let down, abandoned, or cheated on. It’s not surprising why he would have trust problems!

It’s not personal. You’ll have to remind yourself over and over again that you’re not the one responsible for his issues. He needs a lot of time and repeated reassurance through your actions that you can be trusted.

Even then, he may still be reluctant to go all-in, especially if the hurt has been recent or very bad. Find out about his past and see what wounds he has suffered.

Let him know in all kinds of ways that you don’t intend to disappoint him, that you are trustworthy. It’s worth the effort because once he trusts you, he’s the most committed sign you can find!

No More Sleepless Nights About Your Scorpio Man…

It can be SO painful to worry about how to make things work with a Scorpio man who won’t commit.

I know. I’ve been there with many of my friends dating Scorpio guys.

I remember my very close friend crying herself to sleep at night, worried that her man would never commit to her… She lost sleep, time, and even work hours, all because she couldn’t figure out how to capture his heart and get him to commit.

As a friend, it was hard to watch her go through that…

But I knew how good he was for her, and I didn’t want her to give up on him.

Even when our other friends were telling her to move on, I could see that he was the most incredible man she had ever met.

How could she just give up on that?

But it wasn’t easy. It took a LOT of work. She had to learn how to speak a different language… Scorpio ma’s love language <<

And it worked!!

So if you are ready to sleep like a baby, knowing your Scorpio man is MADLY in love with you…

And never feel anxious about him again…

Click here to see how to speak your Scorpio man’s love language <<



About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

9 thoughts on “7 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Doesn’t Want A Relationship

  1. Thanks for your article…

    I am experiencing number 3: life problems…

    I met a Scorpio man who seemed to be really into me but one day he disappeared without any reasons… I never asked questions nor did I go after him…

    I texted him 2 months afterwards because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He told me that he was sorry, that he really likes me and he wanted to see me but he just couldn’t. We had another date, he said he couldn’t be in a relationship at the moment, that we could just see each other as « friends » but no being in a relationship. I agreed but never any news again nor did he… Well in the meantime his personal life became a nightmare (i knew it from a common friend)…

    5 months later, he saw me in the street and texted me… We started to see each other again… Wonderful date nights… But I never ask questions… I know he is going through hell and has sleepless nights due to personal problems (he told that to a common friend)… He always comes back to me… Always… Some people tell me that if a man really loves you he will do whatever he can to be with you… I have the feeling (I am a cancer) that it’s more complicated with a Scorpio: When we were dating, I didn’t reply to one of his text, the next day he asked a friend that we have in common if I met someone else… It baffled me because he didn’t seem to care much about me at the time… I have learnt that there is sometimes a gap between what he feels and what he shows… I can tell he is not ready to talk about « us » for the moment and that he needs time… But Scorpios are deeply emotional and really prone to anxiety so yes they want passion but require patience!!!! A lot of patience and understanding….

    As you write: « If you work with him you may win the day with him »… Hope it’s true

    1. Hi Bella!

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yes, they do require much patience because they aren’t about to trust and open up to someone if they don’t fully trust them. It takes them time to build that up. This is why they don’t like commitment until they know for sure. Yes, if you have patience you may win him over for good. Don’t short change yourself though. You don’t need to change who you are, just compromise. Hope it works out for you!

  2. Hi Bella,

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    I would like to know what is the status now after 2 months you posted this.
    I am dating a scorpio too and I have been patience , almost a similar situation as you.

    Would be grateful if you are able to share with me. Thanks dear

  3. I have been seeing this scorp man for about a month now. We’ve known each other since high school and he has always had a crush on me that’s as far as it went.I got married had children and moved away for 16 yrs. Now divorced and we have reconnected. He told me that he loves me and always loved me. He swept me right off my feet.I’ve fallen deep for this man. He told me that If he ever found out that I was entertaining other men that he would leave me pronto. But he hasn’t made me feel like he fully has committed to me yet or will he ever. I know it’s soon we text ablot and live in different cities so he doesn’t intimate visits too much. I just want to know where I stand and what he is feeling for me.

    1. Hi Nicole!

      Alright so if you want to know where you stand with him then you’re going to have to ask him. Tell him you want to make sure that you two are exclusive because if you’re not supposed to see anyone else then he cannot either. I’m sure he will tell you or agree with you on that. Then you’ll know where you stand and can plan forward. Good luck!

  4. So a around 7 months ago I met a scorpio man who is younger than myself by 16 years. He prefers older ladies as he feels they understand him better.

    After the initial flirting and befriending we embarked on a casual non committed relationship which suited myself as I was not looking for a relationship at the time.

    We spent hours chatting, listening to music having drinks and getting closer. The bedroom antics were out of this world and far exceeded any intimacy that I had experienced previously. There was always lots of cuddles and kissing and snuggling up to sleep.
    He would tease me about one day I would find someone else and leave him but I knew I wouldn’t.
    He would stare into my eyes for what seemed like forever whilst we chatted and his smile was so inviting he made me melt.
    He would go out of his way to help with diy, decorating and anything else that he was happy to turn his hand too. He shared tales from his past told me all about his family what his plans were and things he asked me not to share with anyone.

    Around 6 weeks in he told me that he loved me which I was surprised at as I had developed strong feelings for him too. Despite his age he was so tender and loving and attentive but at the back of my mind there was the whole non commitment thing.

    A few weeks passed and he told me that we had to end what we was doing as he felt it was time to move on. We spent the night together just holding each other tight he even cried but wouldn’t tell me why.

    He was gone, no contact other than when we bumped into each other as we live close by. He was always pleasant and ask how I was doing.

    Until 3 weeks ago, I was having a drink with friends and in he strolled. Taken aback I smiled and said hello and although a little nervous he returned the greeting. He told me he had found a new place to live, he had been looking for a while. So politely I asked where. He replied it was secret and laughed. Knowing he doesn’t like to be probed I didn’t push to find out.

    He told me he had started working in the pub and that we should have a drink sometime. Which we have and as I hoped it has led to us getting closer again. During which time i have been to his new flat.

    He is still as loving, and tender still flirts and jokes and seems to want to spend more time with me. He is constantly watching me when I speak to other guys and
    still he looks deep into my eyes when we speak.

    But there has been no mention of us picking up where we left off. He says there has been nobody else as he says he hasn’t found a real woman like me. He has told me he missed me and that he feels like all his christmases have come at once.

    So I am a tad confused.

    1. Hi Shell!

      It may be that he got in way over his head and started to feel more for you than he expected. He pumped the brakes to take a breather and figure himself out hence the job and new place. It also sounds like he does still like you and maybe with time he may figure out exactly what he wants to do. I would go with it and see where it leads. Just keep an eye out for any red flags. Other than that just take it as it comes. He may actually have realized he wants to be with you and is now ready. You may want to check out my guides on Scorpio man via “Scorpio Man Secrets”. It might give you a bit of extra insight. I wish you all the luck of the Universe!

    2. I met a Scorpio man on dating app 4 months ago. Ever since we started dating, it has always been at his place as he hates people and hate going out in the public. But we still have meaningful conversation and one month ago, after I told him that I like him and would love to be exclusive, he opened up to me about how his ex hurt him and the fact that he is afraid of getting hurt again that he doesn’t allow himself to be attached to other people. When it comes to relationship, he doesn’t know what he wants. Although we are not officially exclusive, we didn’t have any casual relationship or see other people since we started dating as we talked about this before, we were honest and I trust him that he is telling the truth. He said on our first date that most girls are stupid but I am different. He will go to another country due to his work anytime soon. But he doesn’t know when and how long yet. Both of us avoid talking about what’s gonna happen while he is away. He did ask me if I will be on dating app again and I said no. Right now we don’t text much, I go to his place almost every week and spend a night together watching Netflix and catching up. I love the sex. He also asked me if I was sleeping with anyone else and I said no. We talk about our family and work. I’m getting a bit confused that hopefully this is not a friend with benefit relationship because I want more. Someone please give me some opinion and advice.

  5. I’ve been with my Scorpio for 4 years. We don’t live together, have kids nor are we married. However, he says this will all happen and I do sleep over but other than that I don’t feel commitment aside from him saying it will happen and don’t force it. When do I know it’s time to move on and not what was written in this article. Every single thing mentioned is exactly what I’m going through

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