Primary Navigation

6 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Refuses To Commit

Wondering why your Scorpio guy is refusing to commit to you? This secretive sign never gives much reason for why they behave the way that they do – he’s a mystery! Understanding him through his Zodiac sign may be just the key to help you figure out why he’s avoiding stepping up.  

Scorpio men are some of the hardest people to figure out!  He’s an enigma to most people, except those in his inner circle (which are very few!). If you’re not there yet, it can be bewildering to try and figure him out, especially when he’s acting in a non-committal way. 

This is unusual for the Scorpio guy, because he is actually the type that looks for security in a relationship. He likes to commit, in other words.

But this does take time, and patience. In the beginning, it may look like he’s a player, as if he doesn’t really care, or even want to hear about commitment. Generally speaking, Scorpio men like to be the ones calling the shots, so if you try and get him to commit, well, you’ll probably lose! 

You have to take a step back, give him some space, and stay away from playing games. Of course, learning more about his Astrology sign can also help you to figure out a reason for him not committing, and to maybe take steps to change the situation – subtly, of course! 

Here are some reasons that may contribute to why he’s not committing to you at the moment: 

6 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Refuses To Commit To You

1. He Has Trust Issues

Scorpio Man Trust Issues

Here’s the deal: almost all Scorpios have major trust issues. The emphasis in on the word “major.” He’s likely had experiences in his life where he was betrayed, let down, abandoned, or cheated on. It’s not surprising why he would have trust problems! 

It’s not personal. You’ll have to remind yourself over and over again that you’re not the one responsible for his issues. He needs a lot of time, and repeated reassurance through your actions that you can be trusted. 

Even then, he may still be reluctant to go all-in, especially if the hurt has been recent, or very bad. Find out about his past, and see what wound he has suffered. Let him know in all kinds of ways that you don’t intend to disappoint him, that you are trustworthy. 

It’s worth the effort, because once he trusts you, he’s the most committed sign you can find! 

2. He’s Finding It Hard To Let Go Of Someone Else

Scorpio Man Refuses To Commit Has Someone Else

It’s never nice to hear that you’re standing in the shadow of someone else’s memory. After all, you want to be number one, right? 

The truth is, we all live in someone else’s shadow to some degree or another, and if there has been someone in his life that was recent, or a marriage, he may still be in mourning over them. He might even still be trying to work things out and not telling you – worst case scenario, of course. 

If he’s not committing, and you have a great connection in every other way, perhaps have a conversation with him and ask if there is anyone else in the picture. This man, above all, understands the emotion of jealousy, and he’s unlikely to be dishonest with you. 

3. He Wants To Take His Time To Get To Know You First

Being a fixed sign, Scorpio men are the type of guys to really take their sweet time in any new relationship. How long has it been since you got together? If it’s just a few months, slow down. He’s not going to commit, fully, until you’ve got at least six months or more behind you! 

You see, because of his trust issues, and his deep vulnerability, he wants to be sure that you really are someone that he can see in his life for a long, long time. When he does commit, it’s often for life. This is an all or nothing sign, so with him, it’s black or white!  

Enjoy this phase. If you can, don’t flirt around or try to play games with him. Try not to push him too much, though don’t hesitate to tell him you’re looking for something long-term and meaningful. He will respect you all the more for that, and this will sit with him until he makes that important move! 

4. He Has Something To Hide

Scorpio Man Refuses To Commit And Has Something To Hide

Unfortunately, not all Scorpio men are wonderful and amazing. You do get a few that can sneak around and hide things. If you suspect that’s the case, rather cut your losses and run! 

However, he could be hiding something out of a sense of shame or fear that you won’t like him anymore when you find out, or something that he feels is too “dark” for you to handle. 

For example, he may have a psychotic ex-wife who he feels disempowered towards, or a needy family member living with him that he’s supporting, for example. Maybe he’s got mental health issues that he’s scared to disclose in case you run off, and his only recourse is to try and avoid commitment. 

Take some time to find out what’s happening in his life. You don’t need to snoop, as he’s knows if you’re trying to go behind his back, or push him to reveal more than he’s ready to. Just let him know that you would accept whatever he’s got going on (and be sure that you will!). 

5. There’s Not Enough Passion For Him

As you may already know, Scorpio is a sign that is known for their powerful sexuality! 

This is not the kind of man who will settle for lukewarm chemistry, and if he feels that things are just not hot enough between the two of you, he may back off quite a bit, until he’s ready to tell you that he’s no longer interested in a relationship. 

Because, the truth is that he’s not going to want to be with you unless your sexual connection is through the roof, and that may not even be your fault. Some girls can’t keep up with him, and that’s completely okay! 

But if you can spice it up, and you want to – well – that may have him having second thoughts! 

Read next: 5 Shocking Things Every Scorpio Man Wants

6. He’s Playing Games With You

Sometimes, he’s just playing games with you, as much as it hurts to hear it! Scorpio men do tend to do that, as they are the types that can lay cat and mouse to see if you are really interested in him. 

These power games can do a few things for him: first, it’s a kind of test, and if you “pass,” by becoming more vulnerable to him, he’s going to gel safe enough to be close to you, too, and to commit. 

It’s not the greatest way to establish trust, of course, so you always shave the choice to back out and run, letting him know in no uncertain terms that you’re not up for this game-playing. Or, you can play along and be open-handed with your feelings. 

Whatever you do, trust that an evolved Scorpio is just the guy you want to commit to, that it takes time, patience, effort, and trust. When he does come around, he is the loveliest and most ardent partner you’ll ever have!

If you feel like you need some private guidance on your relationship, I’ve still got a few spots open for my ‘VIP Consultation’ service that you can book here to get instant clarity and guidance. You can book your private consultation here.

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach

5 thoughts on “6 Reasons Why A Scorpio Man Refuses To Commit

  1. Thanks Anna.
    I needed this article today. I’ve been dating a Scorp for 2 months & the last 2 times we were supposed to see each other, he’s cancelled at the last minute. Texts are so keen to see me & be with me. Then on the day, something with work or an emergency comes up.
    Don’t know whether I’m being tested or whether I’m just an option to him now.

    1. Hi Leo Girl!

      Oh wonderful! I’m so glad when someone sees something at the right time and can relate. I think that if anything, you should actually ask him what is going on. Be upfront and don’t be afraid to ask him questions. If he ignores you after you ask then that says he’s not really that interested. It’s like “no answer = no”. You never know though, it could be a test trying to find out if you’ll hang in there with him when he’s busy or overwhelmed. You should check out my books on Scorpio Man Secrets.

  2. Thanks Anna,

    I’ve been ‘friends’ with a Scorpio Man since Nov last year (its been 8 months now). From the beginning he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship – reason being : that in nature hes a very caring person and that he spends too much time trying to please the other. And that he cant bear the expectations of others wanting time with him all the time.
    Long story short, I though I would give it a try, and after few months being friends, I decided to sleep with him. So for the last few months we have been in a sort of FWB situation. But one day I had a conversation with him and said that I wasnt seeing anyone else and asked about him, he said yes.
    I knew I was taking the risk when I decided to have sex with him. But then I said that I didnt feel comfortable with that, asking basically to be exclusive.
    he said that he enjoys me and enjoys everytime we spend together in and out of bed. but that its very easy confusing friendship and sexual attraction for love. and that he wanted to see me again.
    We then had a few more dates, and this time he took me out for dinner, and on another date he invited me for coffee in the afternoon. I thought things were changing.
    But now, hes gone cold again. I know that he is just starting a business and hes been flat out and also financially things are a bit tough. I stopped all contact with him and so we went for no contact for nearly 3 weeks when he finally message me. Funny thing is that mentally I have let go of him. At least I have let go of the arrangement we had before. I also told him Im going away for 3 weeks pretty soon. Now he wants to see me….but of course I dont know if its just for sex or not. I suggested we go for a coffee . So lets see… Its pretty difficult…But I know for sure that I dont want to go back to FWB…so its either proper dating or friendship moving forward…lets see.

    Libra Girl

    1. Hi Martha!

      Basically he’s still holding on to the same stance as the beginning. He isn’t into having a relationship. He wants to have a good time with you but doesn’t want to make it more than it is. That’s what his behavior is telling you. You can keep trying to go with it or you can start seeing other people and having a good time. It may make him jealous enough to realize he wants only you OR he won’t think much of it which really tells you he’s not on the same page as you. Look for love your way. Make yourself happy and stay open to possibilities other men may bring. If you want to learn more about Scorpio though, please check out my books on Scorpio Man Secrets.

  3. Hi Anna,

    I am a Leo woman who started seeing a Scorpio man over a year ago. He’s handsome, self-employed (finance), late 40’s. Been married once, split amicably, no children. He was very clear about wanting a relationship when we met. It took about a month of beautiful dates, meeting his mother, him offering to help me in my new flat, lots of flirting etc before I allowed him close. He was like a dream, this perfect Prince Charming. I fell hard, but tried to keep cool and still allow him to do the chasing. After about three months I called him out on something I thought was insensitive of him. But although I apologised later on and showed him I was able to see it from his perspective as well, things were never the same. He is so hot and cold now. I might get to see him once every two weeks if I’m lucky. Each time there is a build up of lots of sexual chemistry (despite the occasional silent treatment things keep getting hotter between us), and he promises to spend more time with me etc. But he doesn’t keep those promises, excludes me from his life, doesn’t share much with me at all. He is so secretive and guarded, yet so intense it’s like I feel completely trapped in this situation. Each time I’ve asked him about being exclusive or committing to me he disappears. Then when I let go, he comes back more fiercely. He is quite aggressive sexually. It makes me wonder if he is hiding some sort of feelings of jealousy and vengefulness – wanting me to feel completely desperate for him. I don’t always give in and it seems to drive him mad. He’s turned what seemed to at first to be the start of a healthy, beautiful romance to something that feels like an erotic novel where he completely dominates the story and our time together. I feel so powerless with him, just hoping I’ll somehow be treated like a real girlfriend again at some point. I don’t know how to get him to trust me. Each time I make a demand or express a wish he seems to want to do the opposite. I don’t want to be in a power struggle with him. I’ve been in a abusive relationship before so I tend to fawn or freeze up a lot. But I feel like although he makes me feel heard when I dare speak up he still refuses to change the situation. Should I walk away for good? I am so lost and in love with this man, but it’s draining right now and I don’t know how long I should wait for him to commit. I feel like if I start dating others, he wouldn’t handle that and refuse to ever see me again..

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *