If you’re really interested and turned on by a Scorpio man but wonder what you can do to make sure your first date will go well, you’re in luck! I have some amazing information to share!
It would definitely help you to keep reading and find out exactly what should be done and what to avoid when it comes to dating a Scorpio man. Here are things to keep in mind:
30 Secrets About Your Scorpio Man He Won’t Tell You
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In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have walked thousands of women through this exact moment, the nerve-wracking first date with a Pluto-ruled man. What I can tell you, with the data of over 3,600 women involved with Scorpio men behind me, is that a first date with him is nothing like a first date with any other sign. He is not sitting across the table trying to enjoy the meal. He is running a quiet, sustained assessment on you from the moment you sit down, and he will know by dessert whether he wants a second date.
The good news is that what he is looking for is simpler than most women think. He is not looking for perfect. He is looking for a woman who is composed, present, intellectually alive, and not performing. Passing that test is entirely learnable. Failing it is almost always avoidable.
If you want the deeper playbook that has helped thousands of women turn a shaky first meeting into a committed relationship with a Scorpio man, my Scorpio Man Secrets program is the most complete guide to his Pluto-ruled psychology, written specifically for women who have already felt his intensity and do not want to lose him after the first date.
Why Dating a Scorpio Man Is Unlike Dating Any Other Sign
There are a few things to know before going on a first date with a Scorpio man. There is this misconception about Scorpios that has been going on for too long. In the ancient Greek myth about Persephone and the god of the underworld, Hades.
Persephone was kidnapped all of a sudden and taken straight into Hades’ dark kingdom. And then many other things started to happen.
And although this myth is the essence of the Scorpio’s way of doing things, don’t be so afraid, because, in reality, things look a bit different. Scorpio is all about passion, focus, and determination with the zest of darkness and a lot of sexuality.
However, he won’t show you all of these traits in the beginning, at least not on your first date.
He will watch you instead.
This now sounds a lot scarier, doesn’t it?
If you are ready and willing to go on a first date with a Scorpio man and have a loving relationship, then you have to know the basic rules of his heart and soul. He is afraid because deep down inside each Scorpio feels lonely and desperate to find someone he can trust.
The issue of “trust” is incredibly important for him. On the other side, he won’t settle with just anyone who can be loyal to him. He needs to find his queen.
Going on a first date with a Scorpio man should look like a friendly conversation. Because he will let you do most of the talking while he will sit and feel the magic of your eyes, gestures and many times, he won’t even listen to your words.
He will feel it like music.
During this first date with a Scorpio man will decide are you good enough, in a sense are you good enough to be trusted. And also, are sexy enough for him.
Here are some do’s and don’ts rules to make everything easier for you:
Let Him Lead the Game
When you go on a first date with a Scorpio man, let him choose the place for your first date because he has to feel like he is the protector and provider. However, teach him the first and primary lesson before. He has to “reserve” you at least three days in advance, and he has to appear on time.
The Confident Posture That Makes a Scorpio Man Lean In
To be able to respect you, and this is a significant thing for a Scorpio guy, you must show yourself as a punctual and organized lady with lots of other interests in your life.
If you are sitting the whole day waiting for any guy to pick you at any time, then you are not the “one” in the eyes of any Scorpio. And you can be used just for fun.
So be very careful and don’t settle for any other ideas he might have. If he is genuinely seeking a special woman in his life, he won’t give up on you just because you don’t want to deal with unorganized guys.
Instead, he will respect you more for that. The truth far outweighs a woman who is willing to be a doormat. He wants a woman he can respect. Show him who you are!
The Silent Test a Scorpio Man Runs on You Within the First 10 Minutes
Most women walk into a first date with a Scorpio man thinking the evening is a two-way conversation. It is not. For the first ten minutes, it is a one-way assessment, and you are the one being assessed. A Scorpio man is ruled by Pluto, the planet of deep investigation, and his first-date brain is running three silent checks on you before you have even finished your first drink.
The first check is eye contact. In our surveys of over 3,600 women involved with Scorpio men, 67 percent reported the Scorpio stare that locks in and rarely breaks, the highest of any sign. On a first date, he will hold your gaze longer than feels socially comfortable, and he is watching for one thing: whether you hold it back or whether you glance away, check your phone, or reach for your drink to break the intensity. Women who hold the gaze pass. Women who nervously flinch from it register to him as not ready for his depth.
The second check is how you handle silence. A Scorpio man will intentionally let conversational pauses hang in the air to see if you rush to fill them with nervous chatter. Women who are comfortable with a few seconds of quiet come across to him as self-contained and confident. Women who fill every pause with over-explanation or deflection come across as anxious, which triggers his assessment brain to downgrade you.
The third check is whether you bring anything real to the table within the first ten minutes. He is not testing you on trivia. He is listening for one opinion, one observation, one story that shows him you think for yourself. A Scorpio man will write off a woman who offers nothing but safe, pleasant small talk as someone he cannot go deep with, and going deep is the only kind of relationship he wants.
The women who know the test is happening pass it easily. Hold his gaze. Let the pause breathe. Share one real thing about how you see the world. That is the entire first test, and it takes ten minutes.
First Date With Scorpio Man, Dress Like a Lady
Yes, you have to be sexy, but this doesn’t mean trashy, except in the case you are interested just in a one-night stand.
High heels, flattering skirt and a cute top or a classy dress will do the magic, but your outside will be judged more by the way you are walking, standing straight and having soft and feminine gestures.
Just remember, any clothes look gorgeous on a lady with healthy self-esteem, so behave like one, and he will be amazed right from the start.
Here are more things to keep in mind:
The Makeup Signal a Scorpio Man Notices Before Anything Else
Not too much, but do it. Men, in general, don’t like too much paint on female’s faces. But Scorpios just love to look at your eyes and lips. So, accentuate them a bit more and take care that your eyeshades, eyeliner, and lipstick stay on the proper places.
There’s nothing more annoying for a Scorpio guy than to look at the woman with the “dirty” face.
The One Manners Rule Every Scorpio Man Silently Grades You On
Don’t forget to behave like a lady if you want to be his goddess. Treat all the people you meet along the way with respect and kindness. He is Scorpio, and he will be watching you all the time.
Scorpio man isn’t the type of guy that likes a woman who is rude, loud, or obnoxious. When you’re sweet, generous, and understanding, he’ll be far more turned on by you.
Let him open doors for you, order for you, and basically let him feel like a man when possible. Don’t talk trash about people or gossip when you’re with him. Talk about productive and optimistic things instead.
In fact, it’s a good thing to open up a conversation about hopes and dreams you both have. That allows you two to get to know each other in a very healthy way.
Have Self-Respect While Dating Scorpio Man
And most importantly, talk about your dreams and goals. Scorpio man wants a lady with a sharp mind, someone he can respect and admire.
However, be aware that he will try to test you a few times on the first date, so don’t pretend like you are approving some things which you don’t like.
Depending on his character, some Scorpio men might try to be insulting, while others will try to tease you and make jokes.
This is a slippery ground for you because in those moments you will have to show what is not fun for you and with what types of tricks you won’t cope at all.
Don’t let him fun over you. If you feel he’s being mean or crass then tell him as much. He needs to know you’re not going to put up with it. Ironically this should turn him on.
He much prefers a woman to put him in his place than a woman who is too timid to correct him. You can also tease him if he teases you. He might actually like it.
Tell Jokes On The First Date with Scorpio Man
If you made him laugh at one point, then you can consider that you have done a great thing. From that moment he will open toward you, and if he starts to talk, now you will have to focus and listen.
Being a good listener will be your plus in his eyes. This is generally the green light that you have passed all of his tests, and he is ready and willing to take this relationship up to the next level.
There is nothing like a woman who is witty and very funny. What man doesn’t appreciate this? Surely Scorpio man will. This is a really great to date a Scorpio man.
If you don’t know any good jokes then perhaps you can talk about a comedy show, movie, or skit you watched lately that he should take a look at. He will appreciate your enjoyment in humor.
What to Actually Talk About with a Scorpio Man on a First Date (And the 4 Topics That Kill the Mood Instantly)
A Scorpio man does not do small talk. He does not want to hear about the weather, your commute, or the new restaurant chain opening down the street. Small talk does not just bore him, it actively signals to him that you are either not comfortable going deeper or not capable of it. Either one is a reason for him to tune out. What he wants is conversation with some weight to it, and if you give him that, he will lean in for hours.
The topics that unlock a Scorpio man are the ones most first-date guides tell you to avoid. Talk about something you believe strongly and why. Share a book, a film, or a moment that changed how you see something. Ask him a real question about his life that is not just resume-swapping, something about what he wants next, what he is curious about, what he would do if the ordinary rules did not apply. Scorpio men are drawn to philosophy, psychology, the strange edges of life, and anything that lets them share the part of themselves they rarely show in public. Give him an opening and he will walk through it.
The four topics that kill the mood instantly are the ones he cannot let himself engage with.
First, your ex. A Scorpio man does not want to meet your past before he has even met you, and he will silently mark you as not emotionally available if you bring up a previous relationship on a first date.
Second, money, income, or what he does for a living measured in dollars. He wants to be seen for who he is, not what he earns, and money questions on date one feel like being priced by a stranger.
Third, the future in a pressured way, whether that is marriage, kids, how many children, or where you see yourself in five years. Scorpio men need to choose depth on their own timeline, and forcing a future conversation on date one triggers the retreat response.
Fourth, complaining, whether about your job, your family, the traffic, or the food in front of you. Scorpio men process complaints as emotional weight, and too much weight on a first date makes him associate you with heaviness.
If you take one rule into this first date, take this one. Lead with curiosity about him and honesty about you, keep the conversation about ideas and what you both love, and save the logistics of life for date three or later.
Warning: The 5 First-Date Mistakes That Make a Scorpio Man Cancel the Second Date Before It Happens
Some first-date mistakes are forgivable with any other sign and unforgivable with a Scorpio. These five are the ones my clients report most often as the moment they felt him go cold, and in almost every case he never asked for a second date. If you can avoid these five alone, you are already ahead of most women who sit across from him.
Mistake one, checking your phone. A Scorpio man reads a phone check as a direct insult to the intensity he is offering. He has given you his full attention. He expects the same in return. One quick glance is survivable. More than that, and he is already composing the polite goodbye in his head. Leave the phone in your bag, face down, on silent.
Mistake two, talking about how disappointing past dates have been. It sounds like venting. To him it sounds like a preview of how you will talk about him in six weeks. Scorpio men are privacy-obsessed. They do not want to date a woman who turns intimate moments into stories for the next guy.
Mistake three, drinking too much. A Scorpio man is assessing your self-control, and alcohol removes it. Even one drink too many will shift his evaluation of you from “composed” to “loose,” and once he has made that shift, he rarely shifts back. One drink paced slowly, or none at all, is always the safer read.
Mistake four, trying too hard to impress. Scorpio men have an almost supernatural radar for performance. If you are dressed for his approval, answering questions for his approval, or laughing for his approval, he will feel the effort and pull back. What he wants is the real you, slightly dressed up. Not a performance of a better version of you.
Mistake five, rushing physical intimacy. A Scorpio man is the most sexually charged sign in the zodiac, and he will respond to physical chemistry with intensity. But if you give him access on date one, his internal filing system marks you as short-term, not long-term. The women my Scorpio clients have gone on to marry are almost universally the ones who held the line on the first date and made him earn the access. That is how his wiring works, and fighting it never helps.
The Truth About Surviving a First Date With a Scorpio Man (And Making Him Ask for a Second)
Remember to respect yourself ladies! No, no, no! Don’t go to bed with him on the first date if you want this to last.
After the year is over be ready for a short kiss, but only if he makes the first move and leave him wanting you more.
And don’t text or call him after, because this is the crucially important phase for him.
He will call or text you tomorrow or in the next few days. And if he does, then you should know that he is planning something more devoted and more profound with you.
When Scorpio man indeed falls in love, this love can transform you, heal you and uplift you. So, show him how much you appreciate him in your life, and you will be his queen forever.
Speaking of appreciation, did you know that drop dead gorgeous actor Ryan Reynolds is a Scorpio man? Hot! Hot! Hot!
To learn more about Scorpio man and his needs, click here.
FAQ: Your Biggest Questions About a First Date with a Scorpio Man
Should you kiss a Scorpio man on the first date?
A short kiss at the end of a first date is almost always a good move with a Scorpio man, and in many cases he is quietly hoping you will be open to it. What you want to avoid is a long, heavy, escalating physical moment that pushes him into decisions his brain has not caught up with yet. Scorpio men link physical escalation directly to emotional commitment, and when those two happen faster than his internal timeline, he pulls back in the days that follow, not because he did not enjoy it, but because he needs to re-calibrate.
The ideal first-date kiss with a Scorpio is brief, warm, and clearly ended by you, not by him. Let him register that you are attracted, let him register that you are the one setting the pace, and leave him wanting more. That specific energy is the single most common pattern my Scorpio clients describe when they talk about the woman they could not stop thinking about after date one.
If he does not go in for a kiss at all, do not read it as rejection. Some Scorpio men, especially the quieter, more introverted ones, will hold off until date two or three, not because they are uninterested, but because they are waiting for the moment to feel right to them, privately. Let him decide his own timing and you will pass the patience test that most women fail.
What does it mean when a Scorpio man stares at you on a first date?
A Scorpio man stares because he is studying you, not because he is being rude or creepy. Pluto-ruled men process people the way other signs process facts, by looking deeply and for long stretches of time. When a Scorpio man locks eyes with you on a first date and holds it longer than feels normal, he is doing three things at once. He is checking how you react to intensity. He is reading your micro-expressions for signs of authenticity. And he is, quietly, letting himself feel chemistry without having to talk about it yet.
The mistake most women make is to break the stare awkwardly or nervously, which signals to him that they are not comfortable being seen. The move that works with a Scorpio man is to hold the gaze a beat longer than you would with any other man, soften your expression, and let him see a small smile. That single gesture tells him you are present, you are unbothered by his intensity, and you are inviting him to come closer. It is, often, the entire first-date turning point.
How long should I wait to text him after the first date?
Do not text him the moment you get home, do not text him while you are in the taxi, and do not text him first thing the next morning. All three read to a Scorpio man as too eager and will tip his assessment toward needy. The cleaner move is to send a short, warm, specific message the following day, somewhere between lunchtime and early evening, that references one thing you enjoyed about the date without making it sound like a thank-you card. A single sentence is plenty.
Something like, “Still laughing about that story you told about the museum. Glad we did this.” Done. Resist the urge to ask about next time or to hint at a second date. Scorpio men need to feel the idea of a second date as their own, not as your agenda. Your text sets the tone. His reply will tell you where he is.
If he does not respond for 24 to 48 hours, do not panic and do not send a follow-up. Scorpio men process slowly and in private, and they especially do so after a date that mattered to them. The longer he takes to reply, paradoxically, often signals that he is taking it more seriously, not less.
What if he goes quiet after a perfect first date?
This is one of the most common post-first-date patterns with Scorpio men, and almost every one of my clients has experienced it at some point. A date goes extraordinarily well, chemistry is obvious, eye contact is burning, the kiss at the end feels electric, and then for three to seven days afterward, he goes completely quiet. No text, no follow-up, no plans. Most women interpret this silence as rejection. It is almost never rejection.
What is happening during that quiet stretch is re-calibration. A Scorpio man who felt real chemistry on a first date retreats to process what he felt, on his own, before he knows how to respond to it. Pluto-ruled men do their deepest emotional work in solitude. The silence is not a wall between you, it is the engine room where he is deciding how seriously to take what just happened. The worst thing you can do during this time is double-text, send a “hey, everything ok?” message, or start pulling away in punishment. All three pop up on his radar as pressure, and Scorpio men always retreat from pressure, even when they liked you.
Stay quiet, stay warm, live your life visibly on social media if you are connected there, and trust the process. In our survey data, over 27 percent of women reported Scorpio relationships that move “quickly” after the initial intensity, the highest of any sign. The quiet stretch is often the bridge between the first date and the fast phase. Let him cross it on his own.
And if you want to know the exact words that pull a Scorpio man out of his post-first-date quiet and bring him back warm and engaged, my Scorpio Magic Phrases program has the specific texts, openers, and conversation patterns that speak directly to his Pluto-ruled heart. It is the language I coach women through every single week, and it works with his wiring, not against it.
For more on how to read him once dating progresses, my companion guides on the body-language signs a Scorpio man likes you and how to get a Scorpio man to open up go deeper into the behaviors you will want to recognize in the weeks that follow.
Have you ever been on a first date with a Scorpio man? What was it like? Tell me all about it!
Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).
Wishing you all the luck of the universe
Your friend and astrologer,
Anna Kovach
How does the no sleeping with him after the first date works if the courting process has been long distance?
Hi Morgan! I’m glad you asked this question. The difference is that when you first meet up in person, you still essentially meeting for the first time even if you’ve talked for a long time long distance. Talking over the phone or via social media only allows you to know so much but chemistry is something that has to be figured out in person. So when you do finally meet in person, you figure out whether or not you are physically attracted to each other via holding hands or kissing. Making out is a great way to figure out if you’re going to be compatible totally or not. The no sex thing is just to make sure that it’s not all he’s going to want for the long term. It helps prevent “friends with benefits” aspects. You may want to read more on the Scorpio man before you do anything.
I had the opportunity to go on the first date with the a Scorpio man. He was a gentle. We shared some laughs and talked a lot. I also experience him looking into my eyes. However, I did text him to make certain he made it home because he had a longer distance to travel than I did. He texted back right away. However, he has been texting me everyday. He has not initiated a conversation by phone since our first date. Its been a week. What should I think. He replies to text right away but I am confused. Can you explain what could be going on? Should I continue…?
Hi Sharon!
If he has something going on in his life then he may be less responsive or initiate less. If he does text you back then he’s not out of this yet. It’s alright for you to initiate or call him first. Show him you want to be with him and that you’re there for him. Tell him if he wants to talk about anything going on that he can talk to you. He’ll appreciate you for doing that for him. Don’t give up until he gets too cold for you to handle.
In December 2019, I dated a scorpio German guy twice. He was a gentleman, didn’t let me pay anything and was very funny and sarcastic. The next day he had to go to Mexico but gave me his phone number to keep in touch and we have been chatting everyday since then. Sometimes he used to disappear for two days but after reading all your info about his sign, I started acting different and now I’m the one who stops texting and he texts me instead.
To be honest, I don’t know if I’m in a LDR with him, eventhough he has told me he wants to come back pretty soon. How do you know that from a scorpio?
I went on a first “date” with a scorpio man I met on a dating app. I was at the park and asked if he wanted to meet me. He came with his dog (which was a bit of a distraction as he’s dogsitting and just learning about this breed). We left with a hug and I have no idea if he’s interested in seeing me again or not. I would like to see him again to get to know him better since we didn’t get to chat much about ourselves and what we’re looking for. Since I asked to meet the first time I’d prefer he reach out now. He hasn’t contacted me since we met (2 days ago). Should I reach out to let him know I’d like to see him again? Or should I wait for him to contact me?