Scorpio Man Withholding – Why Hasn’t He Busted A Move Yet?

Are you hot and bothered by an insanely hot Scorpio man but waiting on him to make a move? Maybe you’re wondering if he’s ever going to ask you out or take things to the next level in intimacy.

Do Scorpios make the first move ever? I can help you with this mystery. In fact, here is what you probably need to know about this secretive soul:

Are you asking yourself why your Scorpio man will not just make a move already? In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have worked with over 10,000 women dating a Scorpio man, and this pattern is one of the most common reasons women reach out to me. In a survey of more than 3,600 women involved with a Scorpio man, 31 percent said they still had not even kissed him yet, and yet 56 percent of the rest described the eventual intimacy as incredible, the highest of any sign. What you are feeling is real. And there is a reason for it that has almost nothing to do with you.

If you want the fastest way to understand exactly where you stand with your Scorpio man right now, you can get to know him at a whole new level here. I will cover the full pattern in this article, but having his blueprint in front of you as you read will change the way the rest of this lands.

The Secret Pluto Reason Your Scorpio Man Will Not Make The First Move (Even When He Wants You)

Here is the part most women never get told. A Scorpio man is ruled by Pluto, the planet of control, transformation, and emotional exposure. Every time he considers making a real move on you, his nervous system registers it as losing control of something. That is not a dating fear. It is a Pluto fear. It is wired into him.

So what looks like hesitation is actually a quiet internal calculation. He is running numbers in his head. Can she keep my secrets. Can she handle the deeper version of me. Will she still be here in three months if I stop performing. A Leo might act. A Gemini might talk. A Scorpio man scans. He has to know before he moves, because once he moves, he commits harder than any other sign, and he knows that about himself.

In our survey of women dating a Scorpio man, 55 percent said they felt a definite, real connection with him, yet only 22 percent were actually officially dating. That gap is the Pluto gap. The feeling is real long before the move becomes visible. If you are sensing something and he is not acting on it yet, you are almost certainly not making it up. He is just still scanning.

Scorpio Man Friend Zones When He Isn’t Ready

Just like some of the other signs in the Zodiac, the Scorpio man tends to only take action when he’s sure of the woman he’s got his eyes on. If he isn’t sure that you’re someone he’d like to date; he may not be forthcoming.

If you’ve already been dating and he acts this way, he isn’t sure if you’re someone he wants to take things to the next level with. If he’s seeing you but withholding sex, he is definitely unsure about what he wants or if you’re the one.

So there is a lot to consider when it comes to this guy. I understand how confusing it can be trying to navigate around him. However, he’s just a man who wants to make sure he’s not going to make a mistake.

If he’s been flirting with you but not asking you out yet; he’s observing your behavior and likely your responses to see how you measure up to what he thinks he’s looking for.

There is that chance of you also being in the “friend zone”. If that’s the case; he’s just a flirt and there isn’t any hope of him asking you out. Observe him and see if he asks anyone else out. If he does; you have your answer.

How well do you know him? Maybe he flirts with you but has a girlfriend. It’s important that you actually try to interact with him and find out what his situation is so that you know what you’re dealing with.

It’s very healthy for you to take your time with your Scorpio man. There is absolutely no reason to rush. If you can tell that he’s worth his weight in gold then you can hold out a bit longer!

He Really Likes You

There is always that weird element of Scorpio men trying to be very careful when the like someone so they don’t screw it up or scare you off. So they’ll take their time to carefully cultivate the relationship.

When he really likes someone, he gets nervous and naturally, he will come off as cold or cool toward you. He doesn’t mean to be like this but he’s a private person and emotionally; he doesn’t like to show anyone how he feels.

This could make him take his time or nervous to ask you out. It’s really important to watch how he normally acts as you’ll be able to determine if he’s just being nice to you or if he actually IS interested in you.

It’s the oldest story in the book right? Boy likes a girl but is too afraid to ask the girl out in fear or rejection. This is what is running through his mind. He also doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression.

Now when you’re already dating him and he’s afraid to commit further or have sex with you; it’s the same thing. He’s fearful that he likes you so much that he could totally screw it up.

So he’ll wait until he can fully wrap his head around it and feel he’s making the right choices for himself as well as for you. He’s always concerned with feelings and what to do with them.

Easiest way to say it is that Scorpio man doesn’t want to fail and doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you. Scorpio man withholding sex while he’s trying to get closer to you is a very healthy thing.

If you truly care for your Scorpio guy, hang in there. When he finally is with you sexually, he will make sure you have the ultimate pleasure. Keep your eyes on the prize!

What A Scorpio Man Is Really Waiting To See Before He Makes His Move

A Scorpio man is not waiting for a better mood. He is not waiting for a better time of year. He is waiting for a specific signal from you, and most women give him the wrong one without realizing it.

He wants to see that you are calm with your own desire. Not performing, not chasing, not spinning. Calm. That you can sit across from him on a third or fourth date and meet his eyes without flinching and without asking him what he is thinking every five minutes. A Scorpio man reads the woman who can hold a silence as the woman who can hold him.

He is also watching how you talk about other people. A woman who trashes her ex, dissects her coworkers, and laughs about someone else behind their back will never get a Scorpio man to go deep with her, because he already knows what she would do with his private life. Our survey data is blunt on this. Women who describe their Scorpio man as slowly opening up are, almost without exception, the women who never gossip in front of him.

And finally, he is waiting to see consistency between the woman he first met and the woman he sees three weeks in. If you showed up playful and then pivoted to serious, or showed up independent and then pivoted to needing daily check-ins, his nervous system flags you as unstable, and Pluto wants nothing to do with unstable. He will quietly pull back and keep observing. He will not tell you why.

Take the free compatibility quiz  here and see exactly where you stand with him right now.

Whatever His Reason May Be

Make it real! Don’t be afraid to take the lead if you need to in order to get the Scorpio man moving. If you’re already dating him; you may want to hold off and give him a little time.

If you’re waiting for him to ask you out on a first or second date, you’ll need to suggest it to him. Saying something like “So when are you taking me out for coffee” or something else casual and non-threatening.

He’ll find it adoring and could very well ask you out on the spot. Sometimes Scorpio men just cannot figure out whether or not you’d be interested in going out with him so he just doesn’t bother.

However, if you can bring it upon yourself to make the first move and let him know you would be interested in going out with him, he’s more likely to ask you out then.

Look him in the eyes and be enthusiastic, and act excited no matter what it is that he suggests. It will help win him over. Compliments to him will also go over well in showing your interest.

This is one of the few times where taking the lead is absolutely welcomed with the Scorpio man. Knowing you are into him is half the battle for him. Give it a try!

Warning: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make With A Scorpio Man Who Has Not Made A Move Yet

I have watched thousands of women unintentionally trigger the exact pullback they were afraid of, and it almost always comes down to the same five moves. If you are waiting on your Scorpio man to take the next step, these are the ones to cut out today.

The first is asking him what the two of you are. Nothing shuts down a Scorpio man faster. The moment he feels cornered into labeling the connection before his Pluto mind is ready, he will go quiet for days and sometimes weeks. He reads the question as pressure, and pressure with a Scorpio man does not make him move toward you. It makes him retreat to observe from farther away.

The second is double-texting when he goes silent. His silences are not rejection. They are processing. When you fill that space with follow-up messages, you teach him that your nervous system is running on his schedule, and that is the first crack in his attraction to you.

The third is testing him. Mentioning a male friend to see if he gets jealous, going cold to see if he chases, disappearing from his texts for a weekend to see what happens. In our surveys, 210 women specifically mentioned jealousy or possessiveness as a Scorpio trigger, more than any other sign. He will notice the test immediately, and he will mark you down for it, even if he plays along in the moment.

The fourth is oversharing about your past. He wants to know you, but not your entire emotional catalog on date two. Scorpio men love a woman who has depth and keeps some of it private. You do not have to prove your wounds to a Scorpio. He will find them in his own time.

The fifth is making yourself too available. If he can text you at 11 pm on a Tuesday and you are always there, always free, always ready to meet, he loses the sense of chasing something. A Scorpio man is a hunter by wiring. Give him something to hunt. That does not mean playing games. It means having a life he has to earn his way into.

How To Subtly Move A Scorpio Man Without Him Feeling Pushed

There is a very specific way to move a Scorpio man forward, and it is almost the opposite of how you would move any other sign. With a Taurus man you can be direct. With a Leo man you can flirt loudly. With a Scorpio man you have to create space and then show up fully in that space when he enters it.

The language that works with him is quiet, grounded, and specific. Instead of asking him what the two of you are, tell him you had the best conversation in a while with him last weekend and you want more of that. Instead of chasing, drop a single sentence that reminds him you are still his favorite woman in his feed, and then go live your life. Instead of confronting his silence, match it without punishing him, and then come back warm.

If you want the exact word-for-word messages that speak directly to his Pluto-ruled mind and get him moving forward without him feeling cornered, you can see my Scorpio Magic Phrases guide here. Many of my clients use it the same night they buy it because it hits differently than anything else on the internet about this sign.

The other shift is to stop looking for a big grand move and start watching for the quiet ones. A Scorpio man who plans the whole weekend around you has made his move, even if he never said the words. A Scorpio man who remembers the detail you mentioned three weeks ago and brings it back up tonight has made his move. A Scorpio man who lets you see him tired, rumpled, and off his game has made his move. Look for those. They are worth more than any big romantic gesture.

Why Won’t My Scorpio Man Sleep With Me?

I cannot say this enough: Scorpio men want to be totally sure that you’re the right one for him which does cause him to be cautious and take his time. It’s not because he doesn’t like you enough.

It’s because he wants to see how things flow with the two of you over time. He wants to see if your values and ideas about life match up. He also wants to see how loyal you will be to him.

These are all things that take time to learn about each other. If you have been with him for mere weeks or months; you’re not there yet. Try not to rush the process.

It may be best for you and him both to take your time and let things flow as they will. By trying to hurry or force the process; you’ll scare him off or you’ll get so frustrated waiting; that you’ll decide to call it quits.

Relax, breathe, or do whatever you have to do to keep yourself in a place of Zen so that when your Scorpio guy is ready; he’ll be ready to take the plunge of commitment or even sex.

Scorpio man withholding sex is not an easy thing to deal with when you want him so much. It’s easy to get turned on by him but you don’t get to pick when you get to sleep with him.

While that can add to the mystery, it can also add to female frustration or also known as “lady blue balls”. Yes, it IS a thing. Hang in there though, he’s usually well worth the wait.

Scorpio man friend zone may not seem ideal but it helps get your foot in the door until he feels there is something more tangible between you.

If you’re already dating and he friend zones you, you probably should cut your losses. He’s found something he doesn’t like and will probably back out. Hang in there, you’ll know soon enough!

The Truth About Whether Your Scorpio Man Is Ever Going To Make A Move

Here is the honest answer nobody on the internet will give you, because it is not the answer that gets shared. A Scorpio man who is genuinely interested in you will always make a move eventually. Always. It may take three weeks. It may take three months. It may take longer than is fair to your heart. But he will not leave a woman he truly wants permanently un-pursued. That is not in his wiring.

What is also true is that a Scorpio man who has been friend-zoning you for six months with no deepening, no planning, no sign of jealousy when another man comes up, no visible inner struggle, is almost certainly not on his way toward you. Silence with a Scorpio can mean processing, yes, but flatline silence without any spikes of warmth, intensity, or longing is his quiet way of telling you this is not the one for him. He will not say those words. You will feel them in the absence.

The clearest tell is what happens when you politely pull back. If he feels the pull back and comes forward even a little, he is on his way. If he feels it and matches you with more distance, accept what he is telling you. You can also cross-check what you are seeing with the 11 body language signs a Scorpio man likes you so you are working with his real signals and not the story you want to be true.

Frequently Asked Questions About A Scorpio Man Who Has Not Made A Move

How long does it take for a Scorpio man to make a move?

There is no fixed number, but there is a range. In our survey work with more than 3,600 women involved with a Scorpio man, the pattern shows that roughly 27 percent say things moved quickly and roughly 41 percent say it was slow, with the remaining 32 percent feeling stuck in no-progress mode. That is the Scorpio polarity. He either acts fast because his gut says yes, or he drags for weeks to months while his Pluto-ruled mind works through every possible scenario.

If you have been seeing him consistently for 4 to 8 weeks and there is still zero forward motion, that is the window where I usually tell my clients to run a gentle check. Not a confrontation. Just a small calm shift in how available you are, and watch how he responds in the next 10 to 14 days.

If he responds by moving toward you, even slightly, he is still in the scanning phase and you are passing. If he responds by retreating more, you have your answer. A Scorpio man who feels you standing in your own life without him will either close the gap or disappear, and either outcome gives you clarity.

Why is a Scorpio man withholding sex or physical intimacy from me?

This is one of the questions I get most often. A Scorpio man withholds physical intimacy almost never because he is not attracted to you. It is the opposite. The more attracted he is, the more cautious he gets about the first time. He knows that sex with him is rarely casual, and he does not want to open that door until he believes you can handle what comes after.

Scorpio men experience real post-intimacy vulnerability. In our data, the post-intimacy retreat shows up more clearly with Scorpio than any other sign. He will often go quieter for a few days after the first time because he is recalibrating, not rejecting. Knowing that in advance changes how you read his behavior completely.

If he has been stalling on sex for a long time and showing no emotional deepening elsewhere, that is different and you should pay attention to it. But if you are seeing more vulnerability, more private conversations, more of his real self, the withholding is almost always a buildup, not a dismissal. He is trying not to ruin what he feels is a rare connection.

How do I know if a Scorpio man is about to make his move?

Watch the eyes. In our survey, the single biggest visible signal women named when they finally knew their Scorpio man was in was prolonged, unbroken eye contact. Not flirty glances. The kind of eye contact where he is quietly studying you and does not look away when you catch him. Once that eye contact settles in, he is close.

Other signs he is about to move: he starts asking smaller, more personal questions, like what your mornings are like, or what your week was actually like. He begins planning instead of suggesting. He makes a weeknight for you instead of a weekend, because weeknights are where his real life lives. And he starts introducing you to pieces of his private world, a favorite playlist, a personal story, a place that means something to him.

The reason these are reliable signals is because they cost a Scorpio man something. Small public signals are cheap. Private signals require him to lower his guard. When you see those private signals accumulating, the move is usually within two or three weeks.

Should I make the first move on a Scorpio man?

Yes and no. Yes, you can give him a clear signal that the door is open. A Scorpio man does respond to a woman who can be warm and direct about her interest without dumping the full weight of her feelings on him. A calm “I really enjoyed that conversation, I would like to do it again” will move him more than any game you can play.

No, you should not try to force the commitment, the label, or the first physical step. That is his move to make, and if you take it for him, you will rob him of the thing he needs most, which is the feeling that he chose you on his own. A Scorpio man who feels like he pulled you into his life is loyal in a way that is hard to describe. A Scorpio man who feels pulled into your life by pressure will always be looking for the exit, even if he stays.

The sweet spot is showing him the door is unlocked, and then letting him walk through it at his pace. If he does not walk through in a reasonable time, you have your answer and you can move on with grace. If he does, you will get the version of him that no one else ever will.

What if my Scorpio man has been stuck on “the friend zone” for months?

Long-term friend-zone with a Scorpio man usually means one of two things. Either he is scanning very slowly because something in his life does not feel stable enough to pursue you fully, or he has quietly decided you are not the one, and he is keeping you close because the connection is still something he enjoys having around.

The way to find out is to stop being the one carrying the friendship forward. Not dramatically. Not with a big announcement. Just quietly reduce the energy you pour in and see what he does. If within two or three weeks he notices and reaches toward you, your answer is that he cares more than he has let on, and you can open the door for a next step. If he does not notice, or worse, if he seems relieved that the pressure is off, that is the truth of where you stand.

One of the things I remind my clients is that a Scorpio man who wants you will not tolerate drifting too far from you. If the drift does not bother him, that is the data. Accept it, let him go, and know that the right Scorpio man, when he shows up, will not leave you friend-zoned for months. He will make the move, even quietly, because the thought of another man getting there first is unbearable to him.

Does a Scorpio man ever regret not making the first move?

Yes. More than any other sign. A Scorpio man who lets a woman slip away because he was too slow to act will often carry that regret for years. This is why so many Scorpio men circle back months or even years later. In our survey data, we see a striking number of women describing a Scorpio man who resurfaced long after things ended.

If you have already walked away from a Scorpio man who never closed the gap, do not be shocked if he reappears. And do not be shocked if the version of him that comes back is more direct, more intentional, and more ready than the version you originally dated. Sometimes a Scorpio man has to lose a woman once to understand what he felt for her.

If that is the place you are in, the question is not whether he will return. The question is whether you will be the same woman when he does. These 7 clear signs a Scorpio man is ready to commit will help you read him clearly if he ever does come back, so you do not end up in the same holding pattern a second time.

Conclusion, Does Scorpio Man Ever Make The First Move?

If or when your Scorpio guy thinks that you could be the one for him or he’s just irresistibly drawn to you then yes, he could make the first move. The truth is, you never really know for sure.

They are very picky with whom they will sleep with and when. It’s really up for him to decide if he wants you right away or if he wants to make you wait it out. It’s not the news you probably want to hear but it’s true.

I realize how absolutely frustrating the Scorpio man can seem at times. However, getting to know him better may help you in the long run. Get to know him better here.

It’s often best to know him as well as you can before you sleep with him. It will help the two of you grow a very tight-knit bond that you can have the rest of your lives together.

Speaking of frustration, did you know that actor Josh Duhamel is a Scorpio man? Can you imagine how insane it would be if he made you wait as sexy as he is? Whoa!

Your Turn: Tell Me What Is Happening With Your Scorpio Man

Every Scorpio man situation has its own fingerprint. The general pattern is real, but yours has its own detail, its own history, its own stuck point. I want to hear it. What is actually going on with your Scorpio man right now, and where do you feel the hold-up is. Leave it in the comments below. I read every single one and answer as many as I can personally.

And if you want to go deeper than a comment thread, my full Scorpio Man Secrets program walks you through how to understand, attract, and keep a Scorpio man from the very first signal to the commitment itself. The women who use it stop guessing. That is the main feedback I get.

Have you successfully gotten your Scorpio guy to bust moves with you? What did you do to get him there? Tell me!

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach