Is It Possible To Get a Scorpio Man To Change His Mind?

Are you having power struggles with your stubborn Scorpio man and need some help to work at getting him to change his mind?

It IS possible to get a Scorpio man to change his mind, and I’ll reveal to you in this article how you can work the right angles.

As a relationship astrologer who has worked with thousands of women involved with a Scorpio man, I can tell you this: his mind is not locked. It is just heavily guarded. In our survey of more than 3,600 women, 23 percent described the situation with their Scorpio man as ‘it’s complicated’ (the highest of any sign), and 32 percent said there was no progress at all. His stubbornness is not personal. It is Pluto-ruled, Fixed Water wiring, and once you know how that wiring works, you can actually move him. You just have to stop trying to push through the front door and learn where the side door is.

Before we go further, if you want the full playbook for working with (not against) a Scorpio man’s nature, my Scorpio Man Secrets guide walks you through every layer of how he thinks, feels and decides. What follows here is the short version focused specifically on getting him to change his mind.

It Has To Be His Idea

Scorpio men do not like to be told what to do. They also don’t like being told that the way they’re doing something is wrong. He may not want suggestions on how to do things better.

If you find you’re bumping heads trying to get him to change his mind about the color you should paint the living room or what type of car to buy, you’re in for a challenge!

Once he’s made up his mind, it’s hard to get him to see things differently but it’s not impossible. The first thing to keep in mind is that you’ve got to make him in some way think that it’s his idea when you make a suggestion. Doing this might get a Scorpio man to change his mind.

This does require a bit of manipulation. I won’t lie to you about this but it’s harmless and it will help you to get him to stop being such a hard ass about everything.

How do you convince him it’s his idea? An example would be that you think beige would be a better paint color for the living room walls as opposed to the pea green he wants.

You’ll gently say that beige is a nice highlight for the home and that you could have sworn you heard him suggest this before. Then give the reasons why that color would be amazing. All the while saying “don’t you remember telling me this?”

You can also say “we looked at this before and you liked it, remember?” The more you plant that seed at some point he’s going to wake up and say “I totally think beige is a better fit, let’s do that” See how that works? This might do the trick for the Scorpio man to change his mind.

Why A Scorpio Man’s Mind Becomes So Hard To Change In The First Place

Before you can move him, you have to understand why he digs in so hard. A Scorpio man is a Fixed Water sign ruled by Pluto, the planet of depth, power, and transformation. When he decides something, he does not decide it at the surface. He decides it at the core, the way a deep lake freezes all the way to the bottom. That is why logical arguments, pleading, and emotional appeals usually slide right off.

In our survey, 67 percent of women said their Scorpio man makes intense, consistent eye contact, the highest of any sign. That same intensity he uses to see you is the intensity he uses to lock onto a decision. He is not being cruel when he refuses to change his mind. He is defending a position he has quietly chosen to believe is safe.

With trust issues and past trauma showing up in 377 separate survey mentions, you are almost always dealing with a man whose ‘no’ is protecting an old wound, not a current truth. The minute you understand that his stubbornness is armor, not judgment, your whole approach shifts. You stop trying to prove him wrong and start trying to make him feel safe enough to look again.

How To Use A Simple Pros And Cons List To Move A Scorpio Man Without Him Feeling Pushed

If you’re trying to plead your case about why you should stop eating beef and switch to chicken or fish, there is nothing like scientific information that supports your theory.

Make a list of the pros of eating chicken versus the cons of eating beef. It doesn’t matter if it’s about this topic of what type of toothpaste to buy. If you present him with a list of pros and cons; he is forced to consider the option.

It may work and it may not work but if you’ve presented your case thoroughly, he may actually consider changing his mind. It works this way with buying a car, a house, etc.

Whatever the topic may be, he doesn’t mind you standing up for what you believe in, if you can present proof or sound reason, he’ll listen to what you have to say a whole lot better.

It’s like showing him a better way and why it’s a better way. He’ll be more responsive and adaptive to change when he can see why it’s a better option for him. Do this, and you make a Scorpio man to change his mind.

Take my free compatibility quiz here and see what the stars reveal about your relationship.

The Secret Back Door Into A Scorpio Man’s Mind (That Most Women Never Use)

Here is what almost no one tells you about a Scorpio man: he responds to silence more than he responds to words. When he is dug in on a position and you keep talking, you are giving him more material to resist. But when you quietly step back, hold your own center, and stop arguing your case, his Pluto-ruled mind starts to do the work on its own.

This is not a trick and it is not game-playing. It is simply respecting how his psyche processes a decision. He has to be alone with it. He has to turn it over in the dark, the way he does with everything that matters. If you are constantly in his ear, he cannot hear his own second thoughts. And a Scorpio man’s second thoughts are where your opening lives.

In the 30-day check-in survey, women told me over and over that the single shift that moved their Scorpio man was not a better argument. It was backing off just long enough for him to miss being persuaded. The back door is this: stop trying to open the front door. Let him quietly come to you from the inside.

One client I worked with had been fighting with her Scorpio for weeks about whether to move in together. She stopped bringing it up for ten days. On day eleven he said, ‘I think we should talk about moving in.’ He needed the room to feel like it was his idea again.

Teach Him to Be Open-Minded

If you yourself are open-minded much of the time, you’ll want him to extend you the same type of courtesy. Just as I mentioned before, you’ll want to show him both sides of the argument.

Show him that being more open to new ideas and goals will actually help him succeed better than stick to his rigid format. Show him the path to success that is paved with being able to accept new ideas and prospects.

You can especially show him this where business is concerned. If you know he’s trying to be the CEO of a company, show him where he can improve his skills if he were to open up to a new way of thinking.

As long as you’re giving him sound logical advice; he’s more likely to listen to you that if you’re nagging. He isn’t one to be told what to do and so if you approach it like a life coach; he’ll consider what you’re suggesting.

The more you get him to see that change isn’t always bad; the more he’ll begin to trust and can remain receptive to new ideas and plans in his life as long as he believes it will lead to success.

Warning: The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Change A Scorpio Man’s Mind

Every woman I have worked with who failed to move a Scorpio man made at least one of these mistakes. If you are doing more than two, you are not fighting his stubbornness anymore, you are feeding it.

Mistake 1: Repeating the argument. The second time you say the same thing in the same tone, his mind closes harder. Scorpio reads repetition as pressure, and pressure as disrespect. Say it once, clearly and calmly. Then let it breathe.

Mistake 2: Bringing other people into it. ‘My sister agrees with me.’ ‘Even your friend thinks so.’ A Scorpio man hates feeling ganged up on. The moment you cite outside voices, you have declared war on his privacy, and his privacy is sacred. He will shut down entirely.

Mistake 3: Making it emotional when he is being logical. When a Scorpio has locked in a position, he has usually dressed it up as logic even if the real driver is fear. If you show up with tears and accusations, you confirm his private story that you cannot be reasoned with. Present calm facts. Let the emotion stay in your eyes, not in your voice.

Mistake 4: Making it logical when he is being emotional. The reverse is just as damaging. If he is hurt or feeling betrayed, a spreadsheet of pros and cons will not touch him. You have to acknowledge the emotion first, out loud, with no defense and no qualifier.

Mistake 5: Pushing for a decision right now. A Scorpio man needs time to reprocess anything in private. Demanding an answer in the moment is the fastest way to make sure the answer is no. Give him 48 to 72 hours of quiet. You will often get a completely different response than the one he gave you in the heat of the conversation.

If Your Scorpio Man Is Trying To Break Up With You, Here Is How To Plant Real Doubt Without Pushing Him Further

If you’re trying to get him to change his mind about breaking up, this may be a bit more difficult. You’ll want to take the same approach as I’ve mentioned already. However; you’re going to have to be tactful.

In other words, you’re going to have to do your best to present him with evidence as to why he should give the relationship another chance. You can try a pros and cons list and show him that the pros outweigh the negatives.

Don’t try to push him too hard with it though because if you do, he’ll run from you and you’ll never hear from him again. Just present this to him at the time he’s trying to break it off so that he has something to think about. This can make a Scorpio man to change his mind.

Then you’ll have to back off and give him time to process what you’ve said and what you believe. If he truly loves you enough or cares; he’ll come back around and talk to you about it.

He may even consider staying together but there is never any guarantee with a Scorpio man. He’s a hot lit fuse and if he really believes that he is right and you are in the wrong,  he’s pretty much done.

The Truth About How Long It Takes A Scorpio Man To Actually Change His Mind

I want to tell you the truth because almost every other article lies about this: a Scorpio man rarely changes his mind in the moment. He changes it quietly, in private, on his own timeline, and then one day he comes back and behaves as though he always thought that way.

In the 760 hot-and-cold mentions in our survey, the pattern is almost identical. He pulls away hard, a woman goes quiet, and somewhere between one and six weeks later he reaches out as if nothing happened. That reach-out is the change of mind. He is not going to announce it. He is not going to apologize for the old position. He is simply going to act on the new one.

This is why your job during that waiting window is so different from what most women do. You do not wait sadly. You do not send a screenshot of your last conversation. You do not bring the old argument back up the moment he returns. You meet him in the new energy he is offering, and only circle back to the issue once you are both steady again.

If you are in the middle of a cold window right now and you want the exact language that pulls a Scorpio man back without pushing him further away, my Scorpio Magic Phrases guide gives you the Pluto-calibrated phrases that bypass his defenses and speak straight to the part of him that actually wants to come back.

For a deeper look at what is happening during his silent spells, my article on why a Scorpio man goes hot and cold breaks down the full cycle and what to do at each stage.

Is It Possible To Get A Scorpio Man To Change His Mind? FAQ

Can a Scorpio man change his mind after a breakup?

Yes, but it rarely looks like you expect. A Scorpio man who has cut contact is not necessarily gone for good, especially if the relationship had real intensity. 7 percent of women in our survey are actively trying to win back a Scorpio ex, and many succeed, but the ones who succeed do not chase. They let him come back on his own rhythm.

What changes his mind is not convincing him the breakup was a mistake. It is letting him feel the absence of you in his life. Scorpio is Fixed Water, which means his emotions do not move quickly, but they also do not disappear. He remembers. He broods. He replays. Give him the quiet space to do that, and often within a few weeks the tone of his messages will shift.

If he has shut the door completely, the answer is different. In that case, your best move is to do nothing dramatic, give it real time (sometimes months), and live your own life in a way that makes you unrecognizably more centered when he does eventually circle back.

How long does a Scorpio man stay mad?

Longer than almost any other sign. Where a Leo flares and cools within a day or two and a Libra moves past conflict quickly to restore harmony, a Scorpio can carry a grievance for weeks, months, or quietly for years. That is the Pluto-ruled, Fixed Water signature: deep, slow, and unforgiving of any perceived betrayal.

The key is that a Scorpio man’s anger is not what it looks like on the surface. Underneath the coldness is almost always hurt. He feels things with a depth that most people cannot imagine, and when he feels wounded he protects himself by going silent. If you can acknowledge the hurt (not the anger), you shorten the cycle dramatically.

One line that has worked for many of my clients: ‘I know I hurt you. I am not asking you to forget it. I just wanted you to know I see it.’ That sentence does more than an hour of argument because it gives him what his Pluto wiring actually wants, which is recognition that the wound was real.

Will a Scorpio man come back if he changes his mind?

If he genuinely changes his mind, yes, he will come back. But he will come back on his timeline, not yours, and almost never with an apology for the version of him that walked away. This trips many women up. You are waiting for the dramatic return, the flowers, the big speech. What you actually get is a casual text, ‘hey, how have you been,’ as if no time has passed.

That text is the change of mind. How you respond to it determines everything. If you pounce, he retreats again. If you punish him with coldness, he reads it as rejection and disappears for good. The winning move is warm but unhurried. Respond as someone who has been living her life, not as someone who has been waiting by the phone.

In the 90-day check-in survey, women who got their Scorpio man back almost all described the same rhythm: he reached out lightly, they responded with equal lightness, and then he escalated. They let him lead the reconnection even though they had been the ones missing him the entire time.

What not to do when trying to change a Scorpio man’s mind

Do not beg. Do not guilt-trip him. Do not send long paragraphs explaining your feelings during a cold spell. Do not make your case to his friends or family hoping it will get back to him, because it always does and he always resents it. Do not issue ultimatums unless you are truly willing to follow through, because a Scorpio will call that bluff every single time.

Also, do not go silent as a strategy while still posting emotionally loaded things on social media. A Scorpio man is almost certainly watching, even when he swears he is not. Survey data showed a striking proportion of women discovered their Scorpio had been quietly observing their online life during a supposed no-contact phase.

If you want him to change his mind, you have to stop performing for him and simply be a woman who is fine without him. The irony of working with a Scorpio man is that the fastest way to pull him back is to be someone he can see is no longer chasing his opinion of her.

How do you know when a Scorpio man has truly made up his mind for good?

There is a specific flatness in a Scorpio man who has genuinely closed the door. It is not anger. Anger is still engagement. It is not silence, because his silence during a rough patch still has heat behind it. When a Scorpio has actually made up his mind, his energy toward you becomes almost bored. Polite, neutral, completely cool. Nothing rattles him. Nothing makes him light up. That flat, even tone is the real signal.

If you are seeing intensity of any kind (even negative intensity, even rage, even elaborate indifference that feels performed), he has not made up his mind. He is still processing. The indifference that actually matters is the quiet, settled kind that does not look like a performance at all.

That said, even at that stage, some Scorpio men do still circle back months or years later when their circumstances or their own inner work shifts. The Pluto energy means death and rebirth, which extends to relationships. Do not build your life around the hope of it, but do not assume it is impossible either.

Can astrology really predict whether a Scorpio man will change his mind?

Astrology does not predict a specific outcome, but it tells you with remarkable accuracy how he will move through a decision and what will and will not work on him. A Scorpio man’s Sun sign tells you his core identity. His Moon tells you what he needs emotionally to feel safe enough to shift. His Venus tells you what will actually move his heart versus what will slide off.

If you have ever felt like the ‘typical Scorpio man’ advice does not quite fit your guy, it is almost certainly because his Moon or Venus is in a different sign that is quietly overriding his Sun. A Scorpio Sun with a Libra Moon needs harmony before he will change his mind. A Scorpio Sun with an Aries Moon needs to feel challenged. A Scorpio Sun with a Pisces Moon needs to feel emotionally safe. This is why a compatibility reading matters more with Scorpio than with almost any other sign.

Your Turn: Tell Me What Happened With Your Scorpio Man

I would love to hear your story. Have you ever successfully gotten a Scorpio man to change his mind, or are you in the middle of trying right now? What worked, what backfired, what do you still not understand about how he thinks? Share your experience in the comments below. I read every single one, and I often weave your stories (anonymously) into future articles so other women can learn from them too.

If you want a deeper, sign-by-sign playbook for understanding the man you love, start with Scorpio Man Secrets. It is the most complete resource I have ever written for women dating a Scorpio man, and it covers every cycle you have been trying to decode on your own.

The Truth About Whether A Scorpio Man Will Ever Really Change His Mind

Again, give him the spiel of how it’s better to stay together than break up and maybe he’ll give it serious thought before he completely gives up and walks away from you.

I know Scorpio men can seem really harsh but they’re just protecting themselves. Click here to learn more about the Scorpio man’s nature and more!

Hopefully, this will help you to ascertain the information you need to get your Scorpio man to stop being so stubborn and closed off.

What do you think? Can you get a Scorpio man to change his mind?

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach