Want to find out ways to get your Scorpio man to open up to you? This mysterious sign doesn’t always find it easy to trust, and it takes skill, patience, and time to reveal his emotions! He has the deepest of feelings, yet only a trusted few get to see his softer side! Here’s how to break through and get him to share his feelings with you:
As a water sign, a Scorpio is one of the most emotional people you can get to know. However, Scorpio is unlike Cancer or Pisces, who are a little more open and find it easier to be vulnerable.
30 Secrets About Your Scorpio Man He Won’t Tell You
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Scorpio men control their feelings, because they’re never quite sure who to trust and have a deep fear of betrayal or being exploited. They have often had these experiences, and because they are so soft, have to be fairly self-protective.
Like the Scorpion that represents them, Scorpio men have a hard exterior, with that famous stinging tail if you get too close and threaten them. However, if you approach with caution and care, they may just let you in and turn that defensiveness into protectiveness and fierce love!
So, what exactly are the ways in which up can get your Scorpio man to trust in your enough to be one of those people he so carefully protects and reveals his deepest feelings to? I’m here to show you how to do just that, with information gathered from my year of experience as a Relationship Astrologer:
In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have worked with thousands of women who love a Scorpio man, and the emotional wall you keep running into is the single most common thing they describe. In a survey of more than 3,600 women involved with Scorpio men, 41 percent said they had met nobody in his life at all. He keeps his worlds sealed off, not because he feels nothing, but because he feels everything and guards it fiercely. His ruling planets, secretive Pluto and intense Mars, make him a vault by design. The good news is that his silence is a door with a lock, not a wall without one. Once you understand what turns the key, he opens in a way no other sign can.
If you want the full roadmap to his guarded heart, my Scorpio Man Secrets guide walks you through it step by step. For now, here are the seven ways that work.
7 Ways To Get A Scorpio Man To Open Up And Share His Feelings With You
1. Build Trust Between You
The number-one thing you can do to get your Scorpio man to open up and share his feelings with you is by simply building a foundation of absolute trust, first. He needs to know that he can filly trust you before letting you in.
Prove you are trustworthy through your actions. Be there, show up, be consistent and reliable. Show that you have integrity by never revealing your friends’ secrets to him, and making sure he knows that you are keeping the secrets of others.
This shows him that you won’t betray him and his feelings when he finally opens up. Never talk badly about an ex, at least at first. He doesn’t want to imagine that if you break up, he’ll be the one that you are badmouthing. Be honest with him – that builds trust like nothing else!
2. Be Slow And Patient
If you want him to open up to you, you’ll need to be very, very patient! You can never rush a Scorpio man into revealing his heart, and if you try, you’ll find that he closes up like a clam!
Patience will also give you the opportunity to build trust (see point one above), and let him know that you respect his feelings enough to allow him to come to you when he’s ready. When he’s not forced is when he’s more willing to let you see his true feelings.
3. Let Yourself Be Vulnerable First
One of my top tips to get a Scorpio man to open to you emotionally is by being the first one to open up. When you allow yourself to lay your heart on the line, he will usually respond kindly.
However, it will take a certain amount of bravery from you, of course, and you’ll have to trust that he can meet you where you are. You’ll also have to make it clear that you don’t expect him to be emotional back. That’s the hardest part!
When you’re vulnerable with him, with no expectation of him being vulnerable too, is when you’ll have the best results. As they say, vulnerability is the bravest thing you can do, and he will admire you for that!
4. Share Your Secrets With Him
Scorpio men love, love, love a juicy secret!
There’s nothing that gets their blood roaring than when someone tells them something they have never told anyone else, or only a very few know. And what’s more, you can totally trust him.
This is not the type of guy who will blab your news all over town!
But more importantly, if you tell him a secret, it’s very likely that it will spur him on to let you into his own feelings, and show you a deeper side of himself.
All that Scorpio men sometimes need is a little nudge in the right direction, and you’ll find a wealth and depth of feeling that you never knew was possible!
5. Cultivate A Strong Physical Relationship
Ever heard of the term “pillow talk?” This is used to describe the chat that we often have together, in the small hours of the night, after a wonderful lovemaking session. When we feel truly open, vulnerable and close.
If you want the Scorpio man to really show you his feelings and open up, then make room for a passionate physical relationship! Let things be wild, crazy, close, and connected. He feels at his very best when he has a strong physical relationship with his partner. He can’t help but open up!
This will also help you to open up more, too, and create a safe place for you both to share whatever is in your heart!
6. Let Him Lead
Just like being patient and building a foundation of trust, it’s also important to allow him to lead when it comes to the emotional side of the relationship. Scorpio men are initiators, and there will come a time when he’s ready to show you his true feelings.
You can always drop hints of how you are feeling here and there, of course, which will let him know that you are ready to open up and for him to do so as well. But never ever force, cajole, or push him. That famous stinging tail is more than ready to attack at the first sign of being pushed!
Read next: 8 Secret Ways A Scorpio Man Expresses His Love
7. Be Receptive To His Past Trauma
Lastly, while it’s important to realize that all of us have trauma, it’s very likely that your Scorpio fella has more than most. Trauma involving abandonment, hurt, and (usually) betrayal. This may have happened in childhood or in adulthood – it doesn’t matter, the wounds hurt just the same!
This may result in him closing down or pushing you away, or tightly masking his feelings, until he learns to trust. If he’s working on his “stuff” – that’s great. If he’s not, and hurting you, don’t stand for it.
But, if you can sense that he has the best intentions, that he’s trying to be aware, then simply be receptive to his trauma. Understand that everyone takes a different amount of time to show their feelings.
The more understanding that you show him, the more he will trust you and be willing to confide in you and open up. Then you can enjoy a rich deep and powerful relationship, a relationship where emotions flow freely – you’ll see! This is one of the most sensitive, “feely” signs you can get!
Why a Scorpio Man Will Not Open Up (The Fear That Runs Deeper Than You Think)
Before you can get a Scorpio man to share his feelings, it helps to understand why he locks them away in the first place. He is a fixed water sign, which means his emotions run as deep as the ocean and stay there. Where an air sign talks his feelings out and a fire sign acts them out, a Scorpio man holds his and watches you. He is gathering evidence. Can you be trusted with the real him, or will you become one more person who used what he gave you against him later?
This is not drama for its own sake. It is self-protection earned the hard way. Most Scorpio men carry a betrayal somewhere in their past, and they decided long ago that it is safer to be wanted for the version of themselves they choose to show than to be abandoned for the version they cannot control. In a survey of over 3,600 women involved with Scorpio men, “it is complicated” was the single most common way to describe the situation, more than for any other sign. That phrase is the Scorpio paradox in four words. He wants closeness more than almost anyone, and he fears it more than almost anyone, at the very same time.
When you read his guardedness as rejection, you push. When you read it as fear, you soften, and softness is the only thing his walls have never learned to defend against.
3 Quiet Signs Your Scorpio Man Is Finally Starting to Open Up
A Scorpio man rarely announces that he is letting you in. He shows you in small, deliberate ways that are easy to miss if you are waiting for a grand declaration. The first sign is that he tells you something he has told almost no one. It might sound small to you, a story about his father, a fear about his work, a regret he has never said out loud. To him, handing it over is enormous. Receive it gently and you have just become rare.
The second sign is that he starts folding you into his real life. Remember that 41 percent of women have met nobody in a Scorpio man’s world. So when he introduces you to a friend, brings you to a family thing, or simply mentions you to someone who matters to him, that is not a casual move. He has decided you belong on the inside. The third sign is in his eyes. In our survey, 67 percent of women said their Scorpio man makes intense, consistent eye contact, the highest of any sign. When that gaze stops being a challenge and starts being soft, when he holds your eyes and his shoulders drop, his guard is coming down in real time.
If you are still decoding his hot and cold moments, my guide on why your Scorpio man runs hot and cold breaks down exactly what each phase means.
What You Should Never Do When You Want a Scorpio Man to Share His Feelings
The fastest way to make a Scorpio man retreat for good is to push him for emotion before he is ready. Demanding that he “just talk to you” makes him feel cornered, and a cornered Scorpio does not open, he disappears. Just as damaging is repeating something private he trusted you with, even to a close friend, even with good intentions. To him, a shared secret that travels is the betrayal he was bracing for all along, and once that trust breaks it is almost impossible to rebuild.
Never use his vulnerability as a weapon in an argument either. The moment you throw a soft thing he confessed back in his face during a fight, you teach him that opening up is dangerous around you, and he will seal the vault. And do not compete with his guardedness by going cold yourself to “show him how it feels.” He is a master of emotional distance and will always out-wait you. Steady, warm, unbothered patience is the one thing his defenses were never built to resist.
If you’re curious to learn more about this mysterious and guarded Scorpion, and how to get him to open up and become emotionally available, check it out here.
And if you feel like you need some private guidance on your relationship, I’ve still got a few spots open for my ‘VIP Consultation’ service that you can book here to get instant clarity and guidance. You can book your private consultation here.
Frequently Asked Questions About Getting a Scorpio Man to Open Up
How long does it take for a Scorpio man to open up?
Longer than you want, and that is the honest answer. In our survey, 41 percent of women said their relationship with a Scorpio man was moving slowly and another 32 percent said there was no visible progress at all. He either goes all in or stalls completely, with very little middle gear. Emotional opening usually follows the same pattern. He tests, he watches, he retreats, and then one day he lets you see something real.
The timeline depends almost entirely on trust rather than time. A Scorpio man who has watched you keep your word for two months may open faster than one who has known you for a year but caught you in a small inconsistency. Focus on being consistent, not on the calendar. He is not counting days. He is counting proofs.
Why does my Scorpio man shut down when I ask about his feelings?
Because a direct question about his feelings can feel to him like an interrogation, and interrogation triggers his deepest instinct, which is to protect himself. He does not process emotion out loud the way many people do. He processes it inward, often for a long time, before he is ready to put it into words. When you ask “what are you feeling,” you are asking him to hand over something he has not finished examining yet.
Instead of asking him to explain his emotions, share one of yours first and leave space. Say what you feel, ask nothing, and let the silence sit. Scorpio men almost always respond to vulnerability that comes with no demand attached. You are showing him it is safe to go first, which is the very thing he is waiting to learn.
Do Scorpio men open up more through text or in person?
It depends on the man, but many Scorpio men find the slight distance of text safer for their first attempts at honesty. There is no face to read his, no immediate reaction to brace against. A heartfelt message at night, when his guard is naturally lower, can draw out words he would struggle to say across a table. In person, the deepest sharing tends to happen side by side rather than face to face, in the car, in the dark, after intimacy, when he does not feel watched.
If texting is where your Scorpio man feels safest, the exact words you choose matter enormously. My Scorpio Text Magic guide gives you message-by-message language that speaks straight to his guarded, Pluto-ruled heart.
How do you know if a Scorpio man trusts you?
You know because he stops managing you. A Scorpio man who does not yet trust you is always slightly performing, always controlling what you see. When the performance drops, when he lets you see him tired, uncertain, or wrong about something, that is trust. He has decided he does not have to earn your approval by being impressive.
Another clear marker is access. He gives you his time without you asking, tells you where he is going, and brings you into the parts of his life he keeps sealed from most people. For a sign where 41 percent of partners have met nobody in his world, being let inside is the loudest “I trust you” he knows how to say.
Will a Scorpio man ever fully open up emotionally?
Yes, but on his terms and in his time. When a Scorpio man finally commits his trust to you, he does not open a window, he opens a vault, and what is inside is more devoted, more passionate, and more loyal than almost any other sign can offer. The intensity that made him so hard to reach becomes the intensity of how completely he loves you.
The key is to stop trying to force the vault and start becoming the kind of safe, steady presence he can finally exhale around. Do that, and a Scorpio man will give you a depth of emotional connection most people never experience in their lives.
I would love to hear your story. Have you been trying to get your Scorpio man to open up and share his feelings? What has worked, and what has left you stuck? Share your experience in the comments below, and I will do my best to help you figure out your next step. I read every single one.
Best of luck!
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
I want know how to text !! a scorpio man first and then how to win his heart And i want to know everything to make him only mine even if there is a secreat with me!