The world before the internet was simpler in many ways. Certainly, romance and dating have changed, and there are so many new rules when it comes to love! Who texts first? Is it up to him or you? Do men want to be pursued? How long do you have to wait? No one has the perfect answers to this, but astrology can help!
30 Secrets About Your Scorpio Man He Won’t Tell You
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Let’s face is—modern love is confusing. In the old days, commitment was typically the goal, and everyone was clear on where the relationship would eventually go.
There was a logical order for most relationships, and that meant less confusion. But with the difficulties of dating today come many perks—you just have to learn to navigate this territory.
When it comes to the Scorpio man, how can you get him to call or text your first? You may already know by now that this guy tends to like to be the one in pursuit. Being ruled by Mars and Pluto, the “lust” planets, makes him need to chase!
Here are some tips on how you can get him to make that first move more often.
7 Ways to Get a Scorpio Man to Text or Call You First
1. Keep Him Guessing
In my experience with Scorpio men in relationship astrology, you need to keep him guessing. Don’t reveal all your secrets and desires right away! He needs to know that there is more to you than meets the eye.
If you’ve dangled a carrot or two in front of his nose, he’ll be wanting more of you. Share a little of your life and hint at more to come, and he should be texting you to find out more in no time! Even then, try to keep some of your secrets—it’ll keep him coming back.
2. Be Patient
The biggest problem with modern romance is a lack of patience. Women are often looking for answers right away—but having communication at our fingertips is not always a blessing!
If he’s not texting or calling back right away, let it be. Carry on with your own life. Focus on yourself. After all, if a man really, really wants you, he will show you.
Scorpio men are the types to always get what they want. He may just need some time to figure things out—especially if he has the trust issues common to Scorpios!
He may be scared to have his heart broken again. Even though he seems strong, in control, and even a bit remote, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s a total softie inside, and once he invests in someone, he really invests.
So ladies, be patient. He’ll call if he really wants to.
3. Focus On Your Career
This might seem like a counterintuitive tip to get him to call or text you first. But bear with me.
As strange as it sounds, Scorpios are very sensitive to energy. He will “feel” if your focus has shifted from him to something else.
Another reason to throw energy at your work is that he really admires a woman with ambition.
Once he feels this energy shift, you can almost guarantee that he’ll be trying to contact you and get your focus back on him! Try it!
4. Post a Few New Pictures Online
Men are visual creatures—we all know that, right? Well, a Scorpio man can be particularly visual. He loves a woman who takes good care of herself and takes the trouble to look good. He especially loves the colors red and black, and a girl who looks powerful and in control.
Find your most appealing pictures that have a bit of mystery to them, or take a few new ones! Post them online if you’re friends, or use one as your messenger or email avatar. He’ll be bound to notice how great you’re looking and see it as a reminder to pick up the phone and give you a call!
5. Don’t Pursue Him
This falls under the “be patient” category, but it’s more than that. Scorpio men really need to be in the lead, more so than other men. For example, a Leo man might love for you to send him a complimentary message asking him how his day is going, but a Scorpio man doesn’t like being beaten to the punch.
Besides, being co-ruled by Mars, the planet of drive and action, guarantees he will get hold of you if he wants you. This is an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so you don’t need to worry about him being wishy-washy.
6. Make Yourself Desirable
How do you make yourself more desirable, to the point where he will text or call you?
There are a few ways. Of course, one way is to publicly post about the great things happening in your life. But sometimes, “more desirable” is a very subtle shift in gears. Desirable means independent, unattached to your ex, and willing to be vulnerable.
It means that when you do see him or talk to him, you’re someone he imagines in his life long-term. Someone he can trust, someone he can rely on, someone stable, sensitive, and willing to be there for him.
Desirable also means sexy, but not over the top. It means holding out physically and waiting for the right moment to get into bed with him. He will respect and admire you so much more if he sees you don’t give yourself away too quickly.
Plus, it keeps him wanting more!
Read next: 5 Questions to Make a Scorpio Man Fall in Love With You—Fast!
7. Never Put Pressure On Him
Don’t push him! If you beg him and he feels forced to call or you or text you, he may lose interest.
If you’ve been only dating a few weeks, this is even more important. Unless you’re in an exclusive relationship, he doesn’t “owe” you anything—yet. If you are seriously involved, say for over a year, you have every right to ask him to check in and call. But those are relationship duties, not dating duties. There is a difference—a big one!
These are just some of the ways you can get him to call and text you first. But don’t forget the most important rule: always focus on yourself. You don’t enjoy feeling needy, and he won’t enjoy it either. Focus on your own life and let him call when he wants to call. Men are always an addition to your life, rather than the centerpiece—at very least until you are committed!
Are you dating a guy who just won’t pick up the phone unless you reach out first? How have you been handling it? I’d love to hear your story in the comments!
The Astrology Behind Why a Scorpio Man Waits for You to Reach Out
To understand why your Scorpio man goes quiet, you have to understand what rules him. Scorpio is co-ruled by Mars, the planet of drive and pursuit, and Pluto, the planet of power and control. Those two forces make him wired to lead the chase rather than answer it. When he holds back from texting first, he is rarely losing interest. More often he is testing the temperature of the connection and deciding whether it is safe to invest.
Scorpio is also a fixed water sign. Fixed means he moves slowly and deliberately, and once he commits he stays. Water means he feels everything intensely, even when his face gives nothing away. So the silence you read as coldness is usually him processing in private. He is deciding how much of himself to hand over, because for a Scorpio man, reaching out first is a small act of surrender. The more you understand this, the less you will panic when his name does not light up your phone.
Signs a Scorpio Man Secretly Wants You to Text Him First
Sometimes he is not playing hard to get at all. He is waiting for a signal that you are as invested as he is. Here are the quiet tells that he would welcome your message:
- He watches everything you post but rarely comments. A Scorpio man observes far more than he reveals. If he views every story within minutes, he is thinking about you.
- His last message ended with a question. That is his low-risk way of leaving the door open without admitting he wants you to walk through it.
- He remembers small details you mentioned weeks ago. When a man files away the name of your dog or the trip you are planning, his attention is already fixed.
- He gets a little jealous when you mention other plans. A flash of possessiveness means he cares more than his cool exterior admits.
- He replies fast when you do reach out. If a text you send at lunch gets answered before you finish your coffee, the interest is mutual.
Read those signals together rather than one at a time. A single quiet week means nothing. A pattern of attentive silence means he is hoping you make the first move so he does not have to risk his pride.
What to Actually Text a Scorpio Man So He Responds
Once you decide to reach out, the message matters. A Scorpio man is turned off by neediness and drawn to intrigue, so lead with curiosity, not availability. A few openers that tend to work:
- The intriguing hook: “I heard something today that completely changed my mind about you.” Then make him ask what it was. Mystery is his love language.
- The shared memory: “That place we talked about finally opened. Thought of you.” It is warm without being clingy, and it reminds him of a moment you built together.
- The sincere ask: “You always have strong opinions on this kind of thing, so I need yours.” Scorpio men love feeling like the trusted expert.
Keep the message short and leave a little space for him to fill. Long paragraphs that spell out your feelings tend to make him retreat. A confident, slightly playful text that invites a reply will almost always get one, because you are giving him a reason to lead the conversation from there.
Read next: How To Make A Scorpio Man Go Crazy For You Through Text
How to Keep Him Texting You Once He Starts
Getting the first message is only half the work. A Scorpio man commits his attention slowly, so the goal is to become the conversation he looks forward to rather than one he answers out of habit. The way you respond in those early exchanges teaches him what to expect from you.
Match his energy instead of chasing it. If he sends a thoughtful paragraph, meet him there. If he sends something short and playful, keep it light. When you mirror his rhythm, he feels understood on a level he rarely gets from anyone, and that emotional recognition is what bonds a Scorpio man to you. Resist the urge to fire off three follow-up texts when he goes quiet, because to him that reads as pressure, and pressure is the fastest way to make him withdraw.
Give him something to be curious about in every conversation. Mention a plan without over-explaining it, reference an inside joke, or leave one question unanswered so he has a reason to reply. A Scorpio man is a natural investigator, and a woman who keeps a little mystery alive stays endlessly interesting to him. Keep showing him that your life is full and that his attention is welcome but never required, and he will keep coming back to your inbox on his own.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why won’t my Scorpio man text me first?
A Scorpio man often waits because he is ruled by Mars and Pluto, which make him want to lead the pursuit on his own terms. His silence is usually him processing his feelings in private and protecting himself from being hurt, not a sign that he has lost interest.
Is it bad to text a Scorpio man first?
No, as long as you keep it light and confident. He is only put off when a first text reads as needy or demanding. A short, intriguing message that invites him to reply will draw him in rather than push him away.
How long should I wait for a Scorpio man to text back?
Give him space and let a slow reply be a slow reply. A Scorpio man takes his time when he is thinking deeply about someone. If he truly wants you, he will always come back, so focus on your own life while you wait rather than watching your phone.
How do I make a Scorpio man miss me over text?
Leave a little mystery. End conversations on a high note, do not over-explain yourself, and give him room to wonder what you are doing. When he feels your attention shift toward your own full life, his instinct to chase kicks in and he reaches out to pull you back.
Three Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Texting a Scorpio Man
Decide to choose your Scorpio man today. Claim him! Tell him you want to get to know him better. Suggest calling or texting you. He will if he really likes you too!
And now that you know exactly how to get your Scorpio guy to call and text you, I do have to warn you about one thing…
There are certain texting behaviors that will make a Scorpio man lose interest in you…
Communicating with a love interest is a very delicate dance (and so much trickier to do over text!) and all it takes is one wrong message to send him walking the other way…
Just to be safe – you need to check out the three big texting “no-no”s you should avoid, before you make a mistake that leaves you on read!
Find out right here how to avoid the biggest texting mistakes with a Scorpio man.
Wishing you lots of luck and love on your journey.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
Everything is true! Scorpio are challenging ones, don’t like questions and always achieve what they want!! Totally exact.
Hi Katka!
Yes, they can be very challenging and frustrating. Once you love one, it’s hard to shake them loose. They are ambitious and passionate about life and career. When they find the right person, they are passionate about them as well. It’s just hard for them to find that one person that stands above all others. Trust takes time as does building the right relationship. I wish you all the very best!
scorpio woman says she still loves me but won’t respond to any of my texts , i’ve sent a apology paragraph and asked her why she won’t reply .. still no response what now ? i can’t help but to feel the need to text since we’ve been dealing with eachother for along time . pls help !
Hi lee!
If you keep texting her when she’s not answering then you’re pushing her away. You need to back off and give her some time. Something isn’t right with her. If he does actually love you, she will come back around and explain to you what happened with her. It may be something else going on in her life that has nothing to do with your relationship. Just give her some time and space. If love is really there, she’ll be back.
Your bits of knowledge into Scorpio men’s secrets are unrivaled. In addition to being accurate, the content contains useful relationship advice. I am grateful that you have shed light on the mysterious world of Scorpio men. Thank you so much for your wisdom and direction!
Fantastic advice on getting a Scorpio man to take the initiative by Scorpio Man Secrets! This blog is a treasure trove of insights into the enigmatic Scorpio personality. The tips are practical and well-explained, making it an invaluable resource for those navigating relationships with Scorpio men. Kudos to Scorpio Man Secrets for providing empowering guidance in the realm of love and communication. A must-read for anyone intrigued by Scorpio’s mystique!